Well, vacation is nearly coming to a close. And, like most people, I didn't get anything done that I'd planned as far as projects around the house. Lucy and I drove to PAWMA in Petaluma CA, camped a coule days in the van, and then picked up papa from the airport and drove down to Monterey to spend a few days with my brother and his family. PAWMA camp was great, as usual. The classes were not as varied and exciting as in years past, for me at least, but I had a great time and my practice was invigorated.
I've been thinking of directions I want to take my training and it was great to hobnob with all sorts of practitioners. One thing I realized as I watched all the demos on Saturday night was how incredibly awesome my particular art (Kajukenbo) is and in particular, our branch (Bones family Gaylord method). Even though I might need to add this and that from other arts, the thing that makes this art so special is that you can add others and use them to improve your Kajukenbo.
Speaking of demos, our demo ROCKED. We were certainly one of the crowd favorites and it went off nearly without a hitch. I was so jazzed. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a video glitch and it didn't get recorded, but trust me, we were great. Good music, headsprings, handsprings, sword play, staff work... oo la la.
Lucy and I flew back and papa drove the van up the coast for a little solo time. A few days after his return, the three of us took off for Albany so that we could meet my close friends' new baby, Ruby Rae. She was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. We all fell in love. I've met a lot of babies since Lucy came along, but this was the first one that got my ovaries jumping up and down, if you know what I mean. Thank goodness I have an IUD, or I would have been pregnant immediately.... well, maybe not, but I had a great time helping out with that baby.
We also visited our friends who moved away to Vermont. We met with them for an afternoon halfway between - and their daughter and ours had a great time. It was great for us to see them, but too short and then we said our goodbyes and headed back to NY. I took my dad in for his annual test (he has had bladder cancer in the past, and so has frequent checks) and it came out clear. Hurray for that! He spend the night in our hotel with us to celebrate and then he headed back down to Woodstock. We were there for a whirlwind 6 day trip and it was jam-packed with activity.
Then, back home with 6 days to spare before classes start: Microbiology with lab (hooray!) and Statistics (ew). I'll be taking 10 credits - twice as many as in quarters past.... we'll see how it goes. I'm a bit nervous, but I'd better get used to it.
Speaking of school, my applications were submitted on August 27 and I've already received my first call for an interview. I'm flying out to Philadelphia to interview at Arcadia. I never expected to hear so quickly, but I'm excited! I'm still very hopeful about Yale. I mean, not only is it a reputable program, but the location can't be beat. Accessible to NYC, my friends in Albany, my dad, my friends in Brattleboro... it's very central. One of my dear friends actually lives in New Haven, but unfortunately she is moving back to Berkeley next spring. Alas.
Back home, it's great to be back, eating good food and exercising once again. I made it back to kung fu this morning for the first time in nearly a month. It felt great. My friend B has started with us after supporting Clayton, his fiancée Katy, and me in the art for 8 years! He finally succumbed to the dark side and we are VERY glad to have him.
School Wednesday
Grampa arrives on Oct 2 for a month
First interview in Philly Oct 10 (flying out the 9th, back the 10th so that I miss a minimum of school, but still...)
Lucy pooped in the toilet when we were in NY, but now back at home is back to the diaper *sigh*
She is however completely out of diapers at night and has had nary an accident (furiously knocking wood)
Lucy and Kita had a playdate with papa at the zoo today. By all accounts they all had a great time together with much love to go around. Hurray for that!
I guess that's all the news that's hardly fit to print.
Signing off.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The Shame and the Vacation
So, I didn't do as well as I thought on my O. Chem. I was shocked, seriously, to find that I did so-so on BOTH finals and that I got a final grade of 3.0. I mean, I loved O. Chem, I thought I was doing well on the exams and then I come out with a B, I was surprised, let's leave it at that. I HATED Physics and managed to pull much higher grades in it. What's up with that?
Anyway, as soon as my last final was over, I ran up and grabbed Lucy and the two of us went on a road trip to Portland. We had a GREAT time! We hustled all over the city, stayed in a hotel and had room service, watched cartoons, ate ice cream and generally had a blast. We went down there for the original purpose of attending a friend's wedding, but we made a great vacation out of it. The wedding was awesome, by the way - I mean, how can you beat a wedding in which the bride walks down the aisle to AC/DC's Back in Black. Holy shit, that's the best walking-down-the-aisle song I've ever heard of. The juxtaposition of the blushing bride walking down amid pews of standing attendees, glowing with joy and BAOW-BANAOW-BANAOW....awesome.
Then we visited with my extremely pregnant former college roommate and her wonderful husband. Laura was always an outspoken, hilarious, witty, intelligent, and independent artist in college. Now she is an outspoken, hilarious, witty, intelligent, and independent public defender, wife, and mother-to-be. It's astounding to see someone so unchanging, so essentially the same amidst the changing roles she assumes. It was great fun to be with her again and she always makes me laugh (so does sam, her husband, who Lucy was really taken with - we spent much of the weekend discussing him as she tried to figure him out).
All in all, it was a much-needed mother-daughter experience.
I don't know if I ever followed up my whole reference letter saga - but my former professor who previously opted out recently sent me a letter informing me that she would indeed write the letter. Apparently, there were circumstances, devastating deaths in the family and she was suddenly adopting her 4-year-old niece having absolutely no experience with children and no friends with children. wow. So Lucy and I had a playdate with them the other day. The kids took a while to warm up to each other but were holding hands and chasing one another by the end of the afternoon. It was lovely. I truly cannot imagine what they are all going through.
Lucy and I are driving down to Petaluma, California on Thursday for PAMWA camp (http://www.pawma.org) and sleeping in our van for a few days while I train in various martial arts all day. My mom is flying out and will take Lucy during the day so I can really train all day. I love pawma camp, it's my favorite thing all year! I can't wait. This year, there will be 5 of us from Seattle Kajukenbo and we are doing a demo performance which is going to be COOL on Saturday night. Then Todd will fly down and meet us and we will drive to Monterey to see my brother and his kids. Lu has not seen her cousins since last time PAWMA was in CA, which was over 2 years ago, making her about 21 months old at the time. It will be a blast.
Speaking of Lucy (or Sally - have I mentioned that she changed her name?) - there has been no more pooping in the toilet. She claims she will do it when she is 4. I'm a bit concerned, as she is extremely anxious about it. She has a similar issue with blowing her nose, which is what really concerns me. I mean, she'll blow her nose now, but only after she screams and freaks out about it and refuses and is finally threatened with the nose snorker (the suction device used to snork snot out of babies' noses). She's got a phobia about it and I really think she is developing a similar phobia about pooping in the toilet. I'm growing concerned. I'm thinking if birthday comes and goes and this is still going on, I might want to seek some help, because I don't know what to do to help and to not make it worse at this point. And I really don't feature changing poopy diapers through grade school.
*sigh*
My close friend Sarjan had a beautiful baby girl yesterday. Actually, I don't know that she's beautiful, I haven't seen her, I can only imagine from the genes that went into her... She was 9 pounds 1 oz. Lucy, Todd, and I are flying out to NY shortly after our return from CA to see them all. I'm excited, but also exhausted thinking about all the traveling, travel food and bad nights of sleep ahead...
I suppose that is the update for now. My applications to schools are all submitted, now all I have to do is sit around and wait and wait and wait....
Anyway, as soon as my last final was over, I ran up and grabbed Lucy and the two of us went on a road trip to Portland. We had a GREAT time! We hustled all over the city, stayed in a hotel and had room service, watched cartoons, ate ice cream and generally had a blast. We went down there for the original purpose of attending a friend's wedding, but we made a great vacation out of it. The wedding was awesome, by the way - I mean, how can you beat a wedding in which the bride walks down the aisle to AC/DC's Back in Black. Holy shit, that's the best walking-down-the-aisle song I've ever heard of. The juxtaposition of the blushing bride walking down amid pews of standing attendees, glowing with joy and BAOW-BANAOW-BANAOW....awesome.
Then we visited with my extremely pregnant former college roommate and her wonderful husband. Laura was always an outspoken, hilarious, witty, intelligent, and independent artist in college. Now she is an outspoken, hilarious, witty, intelligent, and independent public defender, wife, and mother-to-be. It's astounding to see someone so unchanging, so essentially the same amidst the changing roles she assumes. It was great fun to be with her again and she always makes me laugh (so does sam, her husband, who Lucy was really taken with - we spent much of the weekend discussing him as she tried to figure him out).
All in all, it was a much-needed mother-daughter experience.
I don't know if I ever followed up my whole reference letter saga - but my former professor who previously opted out recently sent me a letter informing me that she would indeed write the letter. Apparently, there were circumstances, devastating deaths in the family and she was suddenly adopting her 4-year-old niece having absolutely no experience with children and no friends with children. wow. So Lucy and I had a playdate with them the other day. The kids took a while to warm up to each other but were holding hands and chasing one another by the end of the afternoon. It was lovely. I truly cannot imagine what they are all going through.
Lucy and I are driving down to Petaluma, California on Thursday for PAMWA camp (http://www.pawma.org) and sleeping in our van for a few days while I train in various martial arts all day. My mom is flying out and will take Lucy during the day so I can really train all day. I love pawma camp, it's my favorite thing all year! I can't wait. This year, there will be 5 of us from Seattle Kajukenbo and we are doing a demo performance which is going to be COOL on Saturday night. Then Todd will fly down and meet us and we will drive to Monterey to see my brother and his kids. Lu has not seen her cousins since last time PAWMA was in CA, which was over 2 years ago, making her about 21 months old at the time. It will be a blast.
Speaking of Lucy (or Sally - have I mentioned that she changed her name?) - there has been no more pooping in the toilet. She claims she will do it when she is 4. I'm a bit concerned, as she is extremely anxious about it. She has a similar issue with blowing her nose, which is what really concerns me. I mean, she'll blow her nose now, but only after she screams and freaks out about it and refuses and is finally threatened with the nose snorker (the suction device used to snork snot out of babies' noses). She's got a phobia about it and I really think she is developing a similar phobia about pooping in the toilet. I'm growing concerned. I'm thinking if birthday comes and goes and this is still going on, I might want to seek some help, because I don't know what to do to help and to not make it worse at this point. And I really don't feature changing poopy diapers through grade school.
*sigh*
My close friend Sarjan had a beautiful baby girl yesterday. Actually, I don't know that she's beautiful, I haven't seen her, I can only imagine from the genes that went into her... She was 9 pounds 1 oz. Lucy, Todd, and I are flying out to NY shortly after our return from CA to see them all. I'm excited, but also exhausted thinking about all the traveling, travel food and bad nights of sleep ahead...
I suppose that is the update for now. My applications to schools are all submitted, now all I have to do is sit around and wait and wait and wait....
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Can't talk. Studying.
Just wanted to mention that LUCY FINALLY POOPED IN THE TOILET! A real poop. A big one. Hurray!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I think i can i think i can i think i...
Well, I'm almost done with O. Chem. I have been studying for a couple hours with a friend, which was good, but also freaks me out a bit about how much I have left to do. I didn't realize how much a shorter quarter (2 weeks shorter) would make it SO MUCH CRAZIER. Ay. Well, Friday I'll be all done with it and I won't have any more O. Chem to do. One thing that is both annoying and exciting is that my prerequisites are different now for PA school than they were for med school. I never have to take another quarter of Physics. Hurray! But unfortunately, the prereq's are different for each program that I look at.
I've officially applied to 11 programs. Most of them on the East coast, a couple in the Southwest, but I'm thinking East Coast is my best bet. My current faves are Yale (long shot), MCPHS in Boston (could be a kind of long shot), George Washington University in DC (who knows?!). There is also a school in Maine, which is probably a better shot, but it is far away in Maine. There are also a couple in Philadelphia that appeal to me, so we'll see.
I have to take the GRE again, which is annoying, but my close friend Elise and I are going to take it together next month, which should be kinda fun.
The more progress with all this, the more I realize that it's the right decision for me. Becoming a PA will no doubt be extremely challenging and consuming, and take me away from Lucy more than I like, but for 2 (or possibly 3) years, it's doable. The light will be right there at the end of the tunnel and when I come out, I can practice in an area that needs me. I can finally be a contributing member of society again. I can do something meaningful, worthwhile, that i love... oh dare i dream....
Right now I'm procrastinating. I have a FAWKING hard exam coming up for O Chem followed by another FAWKING hard O Chem exam 2 days later. Todd is going on a kayak/camping trip on Wednesday so I had better use my time wisely, but right now (it is now the next day from when I began writing this one) my brain needs a little respite.
I can't wait until Friday afternoon. I'm picking Lucy up directly after my final exam and we're piling in to the car and driving down to Portland. We're officially going for a friend's wedding, but I'm making a weekend of it, going to see my old college roommate and dear friend who is about to pop out a new baby and hang out in a nice hotel with my lovely girl for the weekend. I'll probably never want to come back!!
Speaking of lovely girls... we've had more pooping problems. She didn't poop for FOUR days, she holds it when she's at school and then her body gets all messed up - also she's transitioning (mentally mostly) to toilet pooping and I don't know if you've picked this up, but she's a very intelligent, extremely sensitive, and quite an anxious little poopster. She's freaked out about pooping in the toilet, but she really wants to do it... it's stressful for her and all of us. Anyway, we are giving her mineral oil, per doctor's orders, and her poops are coming out finally. Phew. She even pooped a tiny pea-sized one into the toilet this morning. There was much hullaballoo over that and the fancy white dressed re-emerged from the drawer.
We went to the worst party ever yesterday. I won't go into detail to protect the innocent. Suffice it to say that one of Lucy's friends is turning into a real monster, such that I can't even stand to be around her and it pains me to see the way she treats Lucy and everyone around her. It's so hard not to intervene. I will not be making much effort to get them together in future. It is difficult due to other circumstances to maintain distance, but I have decided that it's important for me. It was so bad there that Todd couldn't even stand it more than 20 minutes and he left early and walked home.
Anyway, I'd better get cracking. 4 days and counting... and then I AM SO ON VACATION!!!!
I've officially applied to 11 programs. Most of them on the East coast, a couple in the Southwest, but I'm thinking East Coast is my best bet. My current faves are Yale (long shot), MCPHS in Boston (could be a kind of long shot), George Washington University in DC (who knows?!). There is also a school in Maine, which is probably a better shot, but it is far away in Maine. There are also a couple in Philadelphia that appeal to me, so we'll see.
I have to take the GRE again, which is annoying, but my close friend Elise and I are going to take it together next month, which should be kinda fun.
The more progress with all this, the more I realize that it's the right decision for me. Becoming a PA will no doubt be extremely challenging and consuming, and take me away from Lucy more than I like, but for 2 (or possibly 3) years, it's doable. The light will be right there at the end of the tunnel and when I come out, I can practice in an area that needs me. I can finally be a contributing member of society again. I can do something meaningful, worthwhile, that i love... oh dare i dream....
Right now I'm procrastinating. I have a FAWKING hard exam coming up for O Chem followed by another FAWKING hard O Chem exam 2 days later. Todd is going on a kayak/camping trip on Wednesday so I had better use my time wisely, but right now (it is now the next day from when I began writing this one) my brain needs a little respite.
I can't wait until Friday afternoon. I'm picking Lucy up directly after my final exam and we're piling in to the car and driving down to Portland. We're officially going for a friend's wedding, but I'm making a weekend of it, going to see my old college roommate and dear friend who is about to pop out a new baby and hang out in a nice hotel with my lovely girl for the weekend. I'll probably never want to come back!!
Speaking of lovely girls... we've had more pooping problems. She didn't poop for FOUR days, she holds it when she's at school and then her body gets all messed up - also she's transitioning (mentally mostly) to toilet pooping and I don't know if you've picked this up, but she's a very intelligent, extremely sensitive, and quite an anxious little poopster. She's freaked out about pooping in the toilet, but she really wants to do it... it's stressful for her and all of us. Anyway, we are giving her mineral oil, per doctor's orders, and her poops are coming out finally. Phew. She even pooped a tiny pea-sized one into the toilet this morning. There was much hullaballoo over that and the fancy white dressed re-emerged from the drawer.
We went to the worst party ever yesterday. I won't go into detail to protect the innocent. Suffice it to say that one of Lucy's friends is turning into a real monster, such that I can't even stand to be around her and it pains me to see the way she treats Lucy and everyone around her. It's so hard not to intervene. I will not be making much effort to get them together in future. It is difficult due to other circumstances to maintain distance, but I have decided that it's important for me. It was so bad there that Todd couldn't even stand it more than 20 minutes and he left early and walked home.
Anyway, I'd better get cracking. 4 days and counting... and then I AM SO ON VACATION!!!!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Blazing Ahead
Well, I've completed my PA applications (to NINE programs!!!) in a record one week. I was in a huge hurry because my favorite program (a long shot - Yale) has a deadline for application submission of September 1. That might seem like a lot of time from now, but as you may know, I went to Evergreen, where they have no grades and my transcripts are a Tolstoyesque novel of narrative evaluations.... The central application service has to process my transcripts and spit out a GPA (?!) for me in the time before the deadline. So, not too optimistic about that, but fingers crossed. I've also had several friendly e-mails with the director of admissions there, so we'll see.
As far as my current work - I'm doing pretty well in O. Chem. I did OK on the first exam, not as well as I'd thought, but waaaay better than I felt about Physics. There is still hope for an A, though probably a low A, looming in my future.
I did get kinda screwed on part of my application to CASPA (the PA central application organization...) My letters of reference have to be in to the agency to pass my application on to my prospective programs. I had asked a former professor back in March if she would be able to write me a letter of recommendation. She agreed without hesitation and interviewed me for about an hour to get material for the letter.
I recently sent her an e-mail letting her know that I would still need that letter, but it would be for PA programs instead of med school. I didn't hear back for a couple days, so I called her office and left a message to the same effect. She then sent me an e-mail informing me that she had a family emergency and was having to leave town and would probably not be able to write me my letter of reference.
Now, I totally understand that emergencies happen and I feel for her, it sounded serious, whatever it was. But, I did ask her in MARCH and I assumed she would have had something written down by now that she could just send off. So I got screwed. It sucks, because I've been out of school so long that I don't have a relationship with any more of my former professors. All the recent classes I have are large lecture classes where the professor barely knows who I am.
My Physics professor has agreed to write my academic letter of reference, but it will be impersonal at best. But required, so not much I can do. I asked my O Chem prof to write one, I laid my situation on the line for him, but he didn't feel comfortable doing it, so I let him off the hook. But I have good ones coming from a former employer (and good friend) and another from Dr. C. at the Clinic, so I should be OK.
Fingers crossed, everyone! By this time next year, I could be starting school!
Lucy funny:
She climbed into bed with us the other morning to snuggle and Todd says dreamily, "This is Lucy, she's my daughter..."
Lucy retorts, "I think mama already knows that."
She cracks me up.
As far as my current work - I'm doing pretty well in O. Chem. I did OK on the first exam, not as well as I'd thought, but waaaay better than I felt about Physics. There is still hope for an A, though probably a low A, looming in my future.
I did get kinda screwed on part of my application to CASPA (the PA central application organization...) My letters of reference have to be in to the agency to pass my application on to my prospective programs. I had asked a former professor back in March if she would be able to write me a letter of recommendation. She agreed without hesitation and interviewed me for about an hour to get material for the letter.
I recently sent her an e-mail letting her know that I would still need that letter, but it would be for PA programs instead of med school. I didn't hear back for a couple days, so I called her office and left a message to the same effect. She then sent me an e-mail informing me that she had a family emergency and was having to leave town and would probably not be able to write me my letter of reference.
Now, I totally understand that emergencies happen and I feel for her, it sounded serious, whatever it was. But, I did ask her in MARCH and I assumed she would have had something written down by now that she could just send off. So I got screwed. It sucks, because I've been out of school so long that I don't have a relationship with any more of my former professors. All the recent classes I have are large lecture classes where the professor barely knows who I am.
My Physics professor has agreed to write my academic letter of reference, but it will be impersonal at best. But required, so not much I can do. I asked my O Chem prof to write one, I laid my situation on the line for him, but he didn't feel comfortable doing it, so I let him off the hook. But I have good ones coming from a former employer (and good friend) and another from Dr. C. at the Clinic, so I should be OK.
Fingers crossed, everyone! By this time next year, I could be starting school!
Lucy funny:
She climbed into bed with us the other morning to snuggle and Todd says dreamily, "This is Lucy, she's my daughter..."
Lucy retorts, "I think mama already knows that."
She cracks me up.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
A changing of the plans
So, you may wonder where the hell I've been lately. Or maybe nobody's really paying attention, but anyway, here goes. As you know, I've been struggling with my decision to go to med school ever since I made it. The thing is, I really want to be a primary care provider. I looked at Nurse Practitioner a while back and really decided that the nursing model is not for me. And then I looked at Physicians Assistant - essentially the same scope of practice as the NP - primary care (though PAs can have specialty areas), they can prescribe and diagnose - and I dismissed it out of hand because the UW school requires that you have 2 years full-time paid clinical experience before applying to the program.
Well, I've been rethinking my possibilities. I really love my relationship with my daughter. It completely freaks me out that I would be away from her for the better part of 7 years - or at best I would be peripherally there. I am not a peripheral parent. By the time I complete med school, Lucy would be 11 or 12. I'll be ready to hang out with her again just when she will be ready to say good bye and hang out with her friends instead. This does not suit me.
PA school lasts 2 years. It is intense, and though PAs are afforded the same scope of practice as NP's, the PA program is designed on the MD model instead of the nursing model, which suits me much better. So, what about those pesky 4000 hours (2 years) paid clinical experience? Well, I've been wrestling with that one now for a while.
One thing I realized is that we could move. I don't HAVE to go to UW for that. We could live anywhere for 2 years and if we don't like it, we'll return in 2 years. No biggie, really. There are schools that require less clinical experience (actually, they ALL require less than UW) so I'd be ready after a year of it. There are even schools that require NO clinical experience, and I'm applying now. Yes, NOW. There aren't many of those and they still recommend that you have the experience, but it's worth a shot.
While I'm applying, I've been trying to decide the best way to get the clinical experience with little or no training. Most "entry level" clinical jobs are things I'd hate, like phlebotomist, respiratory theapist, EMT, etc. And those requare training anyway. So I figure if I'm going to have to get training, I might as well find something i'd like to do for a couple years - so I'm going off to vocational school in the fall to get a certificate in Medical Assisting. It'll take a year, but then I'll have the certificate and if I haven't gotten into my first round of PA schools, I can get a job and begin getting experience.
I'll apply to the second lot of schools after my 6 - 12 months of experience and if that doesn't work, I'll keep on working as an MA until i'm eligible to apply to UW and then we'll just stay here!
I'm actually incredibly excited and relieved to have made this choice. It means I can still work towards doing what I love - working with people in a medical setting. I can still be a primary care "doc" - spending more time with patients than the MDs usually can and getting to know them a little bit better, performing procedures, etc. etc. etc. I can still get the type of education I want. But I don't have to devote my soul to becoming an MD.
Wish me luck on my new endeavor!
O Chem is going very well. I had my midterm last week, and it remains to be seen how well it's going (grades in on Tuesday) but I have a pretty good feeling about it. I really enjoy it and I'm so incredibly glad to be done with Physics forever. (Oh, didn't i mention, it's not required for PA - and neither is the MCAT!!!!)
Lucy is fabulous. She is having pooping problems lately though - she wants to learn to poop in the toilet, but she is struggling with some pretty bad constipation issues. She pooped a teeny tiny pea-sized poop in the toilet for the very first time (she cried the whole time, she is so scared for some reason, the poor thing - i had gotten her a dress she really wanted as "motivation" for pooping on the toilet so she really really wanted to do it, it was pretty hard for her). Anyway, there was much excitement over the pea-sized poop and she got her dress.
I promptly took her in her new dress to the farmer's market where she told complete strangers, "This is my new poop dress! I got it because I can poop in the toilet now!" Oh, the looks I got.
Well, I've been rethinking my possibilities. I really love my relationship with my daughter. It completely freaks me out that I would be away from her for the better part of 7 years - or at best I would be peripherally there. I am not a peripheral parent. By the time I complete med school, Lucy would be 11 or 12. I'll be ready to hang out with her again just when she will be ready to say good bye and hang out with her friends instead. This does not suit me.
PA school lasts 2 years. It is intense, and though PAs are afforded the same scope of practice as NP's, the PA program is designed on the MD model instead of the nursing model, which suits me much better. So, what about those pesky 4000 hours (2 years) paid clinical experience? Well, I've been wrestling with that one now for a while.
One thing I realized is that we could move. I don't HAVE to go to UW for that. We could live anywhere for 2 years and if we don't like it, we'll return in 2 years. No biggie, really. There are schools that require less clinical experience (actually, they ALL require less than UW) so I'd be ready after a year of it. There are even schools that require NO clinical experience, and I'm applying now. Yes, NOW. There aren't many of those and they still recommend that you have the experience, but it's worth a shot.
While I'm applying, I've been trying to decide the best way to get the clinical experience with little or no training. Most "entry level" clinical jobs are things I'd hate, like phlebotomist, respiratory theapist, EMT, etc. And those requare training anyway. So I figure if I'm going to have to get training, I might as well find something i'd like to do for a couple years - so I'm going off to vocational school in the fall to get a certificate in Medical Assisting. It'll take a year, but then I'll have the certificate and if I haven't gotten into my first round of PA schools, I can get a job and begin getting experience.
I'll apply to the second lot of schools after my 6 - 12 months of experience and if that doesn't work, I'll keep on working as an MA until i'm eligible to apply to UW and then we'll just stay here!
I'm actually incredibly excited and relieved to have made this choice. It means I can still work towards doing what I love - working with people in a medical setting. I can still be a primary care "doc" - spending more time with patients than the MDs usually can and getting to know them a little bit better, performing procedures, etc. etc. etc. I can still get the type of education I want. But I don't have to devote my soul to becoming an MD.
Wish me luck on my new endeavor!
O Chem is going very well. I had my midterm last week, and it remains to be seen how well it's going (grades in on Tuesday) but I have a pretty good feeling about it. I really enjoy it and I'm so incredibly glad to be done with Physics forever. (Oh, didn't i mention, it's not required for PA - and neither is the MCAT!!!!)
Lucy is fabulous. She is having pooping problems lately though - she wants to learn to poop in the toilet, but she is struggling with some pretty bad constipation issues. She pooped a teeny tiny pea-sized poop in the toilet for the very first time (she cried the whole time, she is so scared for some reason, the poor thing - i had gotten her a dress she really wanted as "motivation" for pooping on the toilet so she really really wanted to do it, it was pretty hard for her). Anyway, there was much excitement over the pea-sized poop and she got her dress.
I promptly took her in her new dress to the farmer's market where she told complete strangers, "This is my new poop dress! I got it because I can poop in the toilet now!" Oh, the looks I got.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Where O Where Is My Summer Going?
I just thought I'd post a post since I haven't posted any posts in a while and I'm wondering if people are wondering where have my posts gone... so here i am.
I'm back to training, and really I'm feeling better and better about my test the further away from it that I get. And I don't mean that I'm feeling better about my performance at the test, but that I've been able to absorb some of the many lessons from the test and I feel it was so important in my growth as a martial artist. I do feel I'm reaching a deeper level in my training and I can see how much of this path still remains for me. I had great fun this evening (despite temperatures at the school reaching into the 90s) as we practiced forms and sparring as a monkey or a crane. I was having great success as a monkey!
Organic Chemistry is fun too, but a bit scary. I'm quite nervous about the upcoming midterm. I know I always say blah blah blah about my tests, but I know the exams are going to be hard. We get these monster homeworks each week with a combination of book problems and the prof's own personal problems. His creations are long, detailed, complex and almost always unsolvable (by me). This does not bode well for me. Hopefully the curve will be steep.
We got a camper van. One of those cute little eurovan VW camper dealies. It's something I've always wanted and then when we could finally afford it, Todd was going to get it and i talked him out of it. We don't need more stuff! I'm going a little crazy with the accumulation of late, and frankly, i'm a little grossed out by it, but that's another story. Anyway, we began to drive by one several times and so finally i said, ok go look at it... so we got it and IT'S THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER GOTTEN.
Seriously. I don't drive it around town, in fact, so far I've never driven it about town, but we took it camping this weekend. We just went to shake it out, work out the bugs before our first big camping trip. We went someplace close by and set up shop. For those of you who don't know Lucy, she is a very sensitive person and also quite a city girl. I was a bit worried about how she would respond in the great outdoors. She is freaked out by bugs and noises and suchlike lately, so...
Well, she did great! I mean I worked pretty hard to make it as fun as possibly to get a positive review from her, but seemingly it worked. She loved sleeping in the van in her sleeping bag. She LOVED s'mores. And she loved learning how to pee outside. When we got home, she began to insist on sleeping in her sleeping bag every night. The only thing that bothered her was the popping sound that the fire makes. But I think with experience...
I wish my Summer were not filled with school so that I could take her camping every week! I think we may camp in the van on the street soon, we love it that much.
The three of us will be going again in a couple weeks for a longer jaunt - probably 3 nights a little further from home. I can't wait. Then in September, I'm going to an annual women's martial arts camp that will be held in Northern California this year. I'm going to drive the camper down and sleep in it (so I don't have to contend with a crowded dorm-like setting... i'm kinda over that...) and then Todd and Lu are going to fly down and meet me and we'll drive down to Monterey to see my brother and family - even my mom is flying out from Florida - and then the three of us will drive back, camping all the way! I can't wait.
So that is the update. I'm off now to study for next week's midterm.
I'm back to training, and really I'm feeling better and better about my test the further away from it that I get. And I don't mean that I'm feeling better about my performance at the test, but that I've been able to absorb some of the many lessons from the test and I feel it was so important in my growth as a martial artist. I do feel I'm reaching a deeper level in my training and I can see how much of this path still remains for me. I had great fun this evening (despite temperatures at the school reaching into the 90s) as we practiced forms and sparring as a monkey or a crane. I was having great success as a monkey!
Organic Chemistry is fun too, but a bit scary. I'm quite nervous about the upcoming midterm. I know I always say blah blah blah about my tests, but I know the exams are going to be hard. We get these monster homeworks each week with a combination of book problems and the prof's own personal problems. His creations are long, detailed, complex and almost always unsolvable (by me). This does not bode well for me. Hopefully the curve will be steep.
We got a camper van. One of those cute little eurovan VW camper dealies. It's something I've always wanted and then when we could finally afford it, Todd was going to get it and i talked him out of it. We don't need more stuff! I'm going a little crazy with the accumulation of late, and frankly, i'm a little grossed out by it, but that's another story. Anyway, we began to drive by one several times and so finally i said, ok go look at it... so we got it and IT'S THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER GOTTEN.
Seriously. I don't drive it around town, in fact, so far I've never driven it about town, but we took it camping this weekend. We just went to shake it out, work out the bugs before our first big camping trip. We went someplace close by and set up shop. For those of you who don't know Lucy, she is a very sensitive person and also quite a city girl. I was a bit worried about how she would respond in the great outdoors. She is freaked out by bugs and noises and suchlike lately, so...
Well, she did great! I mean I worked pretty hard to make it as fun as possibly to get a positive review from her, but seemingly it worked. She loved sleeping in the van in her sleeping bag. She LOVED s'mores. And she loved learning how to pee outside. When we got home, she began to insist on sleeping in her sleeping bag every night. The only thing that bothered her was the popping sound that the fire makes. But I think with experience...
I wish my Summer were not filled with school so that I could take her camping every week! I think we may camp in the van on the street soon, we love it that much.
The three of us will be going again in a couple weeks for a longer jaunt - probably 3 nights a little further from home. I can't wait. Then in September, I'm going to an annual women's martial arts camp that will be held in Northern California this year. I'm going to drive the camper down and sleep in it (so I don't have to contend with a crowded dorm-like setting... i'm kinda over that...) and then Todd and Lu are going to fly down and meet me and we'll drive down to Monterey to see my brother and family - even my mom is flying out from Florida - and then the three of us will drive back, camping all the way! I can't wait.
So that is the update. I'm off now to study for next week's midterm.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Part I. Check.
Well, I did it. It was fawkin' hard. And in totally different ways than I expected.
First of all, I was tremendously nervous, and I've never been very nervous for one of my tests before, but this was the big one. I had been training like crazy for several months, working like a dog to get in awesome shape, and diligently training my injuries away. I had absolutely no time to myself between family, school, and training. It was all about this, and I truly didn't even realize it until after it was over.
She started me with forms, which was good, that was definitely one of the better parts of the test. Then punch counters (set responses to one or two punches to the face) - which is where it started to fall apart for me. I just wasn't feeling right, I wasn't hitting the targets just right and often not blocking. I just didn't feel like i was in my body, so it was almost like it had a split-second delay before I could respond.
Then there was street (more practical free-form street fighting against any one technique). Again, I was still not in my body and there was a delay. Professor (my Sifu's teacher - an honor to have her on my board)'s response to this was to have me spin around in circles around the perimeter of the room and then respond to an attack. Better. But I was losing faith in my ability to do this test.
Then sticky hands (close in technique where you focus on unbalancing and striking a partner while staying stuck together, touching). I spent about 5 minutes doing sticky hands with one of the black belts and that was when professor Bones got up and decided to do sticky hands with me. For about 10 minutes - whack to my face, slap! slap! punch to the gut. ow. I almost lost it - ran to get water and breathe, came back to everyone gearing up with sparring gear.
I had to spar everyone in the school one by one - the last person was a black belt and i was to demonstrate jamming. I made some crack about jamming using my face, which i then promptly did and got a forearm smash to the nose. Got up to continue fighting, realized I was dizzy and saw stars and then laid down with ice on my face. I was overwhelmed. It was not good.
But after about 10 minutes of sobbing in the bathroom and feeling like a fraud and knowing everyone was waiting for me, I went back out and went on with the test. Two-on-one sparring and then that part was over. After that, there was some teaching stuff where I had to demonstrate my teaching skills and then at the end, more forms while I answered questions about the art and my feelings about it. Then 10-15 minutes of horse stance answering more questions and that was that. It was over.
That was how it looked from the inside. All that build up and each minor thing that went wrong was like a huge disappointment to me. It was all out of proportion and my emotions got the best of me at times. But each time I came back. Each time I was able to fight and was able to do everything that was asked of me. Each time I showed my spirit.
And I got my black belt. People swarmed me with hugs and congratulations and words of admiration and adulation and said I inspired them and all I could hear was the hum of my brain and feel like I wanted to cry and laugh and throw up.
I did it. I am a first degree black belt in kajukenbo. I am still filled with emotion as I write it.
In other news, I have decided to postpone my application to med school by a year. I am insanely trying to "review" for classes I still need to take while also taking those classes. I've finally realized that it's ridiculous and that if I wait one year, I will have actually completed the necessary material, and actually stand a chance of doing well.
With that decision, I feel slight disappointment that I can't get it all done and get the ball rolling, but I feel a huge relief that I have time to learn what I need to learn and that I can now take some time for myself, since I also won't be training every free moment.
My life is about to change.
First of all, I was tremendously nervous, and I've never been very nervous for one of my tests before, but this was the big one. I had been training like crazy for several months, working like a dog to get in awesome shape, and diligently training my injuries away. I had absolutely no time to myself between family, school, and training. It was all about this, and I truly didn't even realize it until after it was over.
She started me with forms, which was good, that was definitely one of the better parts of the test. Then punch counters (set responses to one or two punches to the face) - which is where it started to fall apart for me. I just wasn't feeling right, I wasn't hitting the targets just right and often not blocking. I just didn't feel like i was in my body, so it was almost like it had a split-second delay before I could respond.
Then there was street (more practical free-form street fighting against any one technique). Again, I was still not in my body and there was a delay. Professor (my Sifu's teacher - an honor to have her on my board)'s response to this was to have me spin around in circles around the perimeter of the room and then respond to an attack. Better. But I was losing faith in my ability to do this test.
Then sticky hands (close in technique where you focus on unbalancing and striking a partner while staying stuck together, touching). I spent about 5 minutes doing sticky hands with one of the black belts and that was when professor Bones got up and decided to do sticky hands with me. For about 10 minutes - whack to my face, slap! slap! punch to the gut. ow. I almost lost it - ran to get water and breathe, came back to everyone gearing up with sparring gear.
I had to spar everyone in the school one by one - the last person was a black belt and i was to demonstrate jamming. I made some crack about jamming using my face, which i then promptly did and got a forearm smash to the nose. Got up to continue fighting, realized I was dizzy and saw stars and then laid down with ice on my face. I was overwhelmed. It was not good.
But after about 10 minutes of sobbing in the bathroom and feeling like a fraud and knowing everyone was waiting for me, I went back out and went on with the test. Two-on-one sparring and then that part was over. After that, there was some teaching stuff where I had to demonstrate my teaching skills and then at the end, more forms while I answered questions about the art and my feelings about it. Then 10-15 minutes of horse stance answering more questions and that was that. It was over.
That was how it looked from the inside. All that build up and each minor thing that went wrong was like a huge disappointment to me. It was all out of proportion and my emotions got the best of me at times. But each time I came back. Each time I was able to fight and was able to do everything that was asked of me. Each time I showed my spirit.
And I got my black belt. People swarmed me with hugs and congratulations and words of admiration and adulation and said I inspired them and all I could hear was the hum of my brain and feel like I wanted to cry and laugh and throw up.
I did it. I am a first degree black belt in kajukenbo. I am still filled with emotion as I write it.
In other news, I have decided to postpone my application to med school by a year. I am insanely trying to "review" for classes I still need to take while also taking those classes. I've finally realized that it's ridiculous and that if I wait one year, I will have actually completed the necessary material, and actually stand a chance of doing well.
With that decision, I feel slight disappointment that I can't get it all done and get the ball rolling, but I feel a huge relief that I have time to learn what I need to learn and that I can now take some time for myself, since I also won't be training every free moment.
My life is about to change.
Friday, June 22, 2007
The Moment of Truth
Well, ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow is the day. I'm freaked out, excited, freaked out, nervous, ready, freaked out, impatient, freaked out, and oh yes, a little freaked out.
I'm in the best shape of my life, but my hips are really tight and injured. My back is almost 100% better. I'm exhausted and have not been sleeping very well in my freaked-outedness. I'm thrilled by how many people have said they're planning to come and feel tremendously supported. I'm thrilled my mom is here, my dad sent flowers, and all my ducks are in a row. This is seriously going to be the most difficult thing I've ever done. Seriously.
I'm a bit freaked out.
In other news, I started my MCAT class and Organic Chemistry this week. I absolutely love Organic Chemistry. Finally, something that makes sense to me, something I can sink my teeth into. On the other hand, I feel completely out of my league in preparing for the MCAT. For one thing, there are several things I haven't even learned yet. The Organic (1 - 2 quarters to go) Inorganic (1 more quarter) and the Physics (1 more quarter). I thought I'd pick it up as I go, but those things are CRAZY. And the other thing is biology, which is in my distant past and has changed tremendously since I took it.
With all that in mind, I'm seriously considering putting off my application for another year, so I can actually be prepared for the MCAT (you know, like after I've actually taken all the classes covered). Oy. I really want to be done with this pre-med stuff and apply for the real deal. But at the same time, I'm really treading water in the MCAT prep and I feel totally unprepared at times. This is a quandary.
But for now, I have other things to focus on.
Oh yes, there was an annoying drama involving Lucy's best friend and child care for the test. Suffice it to say that it involved a severe lack of consideration for the fact that I'm testing for my black belt tomorrow. In any case, I'm getting over it.
Today is my fabulous dear friend Clayton's birthday. I picked Lucy up from preschool early and we went to the Chocolate factory for a tour (and so that I could get Sifu a bunch of chocolate as an offering) where we all overdosed on chocolate. Came home, took a nap (ha ha) and went to get gifts for all members of the board. Todd's making a nice carbalicious supper, and I plan to go to bed early (ha ha).
Wish me luck. The next time I write, I will have completed one of the two goals outlined at the outset of this blog. Black belt. Check? Med school, next!
Funny Lucy quote of the day:
In the chocolate, upon being told that she was only allowed one more piece of chocolate (by me):
"One piece doesn't suit me!"
I'm in the best shape of my life, but my hips are really tight and injured. My back is almost 100% better. I'm exhausted and have not been sleeping very well in my freaked-outedness. I'm thrilled by how many people have said they're planning to come and feel tremendously supported. I'm thrilled my mom is here, my dad sent flowers, and all my ducks are in a row. This is seriously going to be the most difficult thing I've ever done. Seriously.
I'm a bit freaked out.
In other news, I started my MCAT class and Organic Chemistry this week. I absolutely love Organic Chemistry. Finally, something that makes sense to me, something I can sink my teeth into. On the other hand, I feel completely out of my league in preparing for the MCAT. For one thing, there are several things I haven't even learned yet. The Organic (1 - 2 quarters to go) Inorganic (1 more quarter) and the Physics (1 more quarter). I thought I'd pick it up as I go, but those things are CRAZY. And the other thing is biology, which is in my distant past and has changed tremendously since I took it.
With all that in mind, I'm seriously considering putting off my application for another year, so I can actually be prepared for the MCAT (you know, like after I've actually taken all the classes covered). Oy. I really want to be done with this pre-med stuff and apply for the real deal. But at the same time, I'm really treading water in the MCAT prep and I feel totally unprepared at times. This is a quandary.
But for now, I have other things to focus on.
Oh yes, there was an annoying drama involving Lucy's best friend and child care for the test. Suffice it to say that it involved a severe lack of consideration for the fact that I'm testing for my black belt tomorrow. In any case, I'm getting over it.
Today is my fabulous dear friend Clayton's birthday. I picked Lucy up from preschool early and we went to the Chocolate factory for a tour (and so that I could get Sifu a bunch of chocolate as an offering) where we all overdosed on chocolate. Came home, took a nap (ha ha) and went to get gifts for all members of the board. Todd's making a nice carbalicious supper, and I plan to go to bed early (ha ha).
Wish me luck. The next time I write, I will have completed one of the two goals outlined at the outset of this blog. Black belt. Check? Med school, next!
Funny Lucy quote of the day:
In the chocolate, upon being told that she was only allowed one more piece of chocolate (by me):
"One piece doesn't suit me!"
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Creeping up
Well, it's officially the one week countdown. Thus far, I've been relatively blasé about the test, i mean, not exactly, but I've been doing what i need to do and sort of even looking forward to it, inviting friends etc. Well, folks, it's officially time to PAAAAAANIC!!!!!
I mean seriously. I was sitting and talking with a friend yesterday and she asked me what is different about getting a black belt than getting any other rank. As I explained it to her, a fear grew in my belly that I would actually have to demonstrate some of these things.
When I was about to test for my brown belt, about two weeks before the test, I got an e-mail from Sifu saying that she was having doubts that I should test so early (it was quite close to my green belt test). She had some concerns about my fighting skills. I had a conversation with her later that day (after weeping like a little girl and then growing rapidly pissed off) and she gave me the option to test or to postpone. She was worried that it would not be a good test for me and that there would be a lot asked of me as far as my advanced fighting skills.
I decided to test, and after much getting over of the hurt feelings, I decided to totally kick its ass. I did it too. And it was a hard test. I can't tell you how many people came up to me afterwards, flabbergasted by the level of intensity demanded of me at that test. I think Sifu knew that she lit a fire under my ass and she wanted me to show it. I did. And then I knew that my black belt test was going to be a killer. I put that in the back of my mind.
I was explaning to my friend (and now to those of you who aren't in kung fu with me) about the difference between getting my black belt and reaching brown. First, there is no new material between brown and black, it's all about mastering material you already know. I thought I'd get bored with that, but I really didn't. I reached a couple plateaus, especially in my fighting skills, but I grew a lot this year. A lot.
I will be expected to show not just a knowledge of the material, which all previous ranks focus on, but now to allow the art to express itself through me, and to express it the way that I've taken it in. I will be faced with extremely difficult situations unfamiliar to me and asked to draw on all my skills without losing sight of the whole art by focusing on the difficulties or techniques. I have to do what I know. I need to show what I have.
I know I have a lot. But I also know that there is a LOT that i'm uncomfortable with. Throw me under a pile of people and ask me to get out from their grabs and chokes and I will do it. It might take a while, but I will do it. Hand them some knives and sticks and I tend to panic.
Sparring with one person, no problem. Throw in another and it's difficult. Add two or three more and it's no problem. (go figure) Give them some sticks and knives and, well.... you see where this is going. And I just have no idea what to expect.
Not to mention the exhaustion factor. This is a long, arduous test. I think Clayton and Julia's test was about 4 and a half hours. There were two of them, but I don't imagine it will be shorter with just me.
Oh yeah, did i mention that it will be JUST ME up there???
One thing I will say, though, is that I feel so totally supported my so many people right now. People are making a huge effort to support me in getting my black belt. One person is waiting a week to move into their new house that they just bought so they can be at the test. One person is skipping an annual party to be there. People have joined forces to make a nice party at a friend's house for afterwards and Clayton has offered to make invitations to that.
Dave has spent significant time training with me after hours and for long hours to help me prepare. Tristan has joined us when she can.
After some initial drama involving my husband and mom, my mom is coming from Florida. Tons of friends have said that they would be there to watch, even if just for a part of the test (did i mention that it's long?) including Dr. D from the clinic.
I am so grateful to have all that support.
I started my MCAT class (again). I feel stupid and like I can never get a good enough score on the exam. I took a practice Physics subject test today and got 38%. It was demoralizing. I know a lot of what I'm taking the class for is becoming comfortable with MCAT style questions (they like to be tricky) but still... demoralizing.
Monday I start O. Chem. I'd better get cracking! At least my studies will distract me from that PAAAAANIC!
I mean seriously. I was sitting and talking with a friend yesterday and she asked me what is different about getting a black belt than getting any other rank. As I explained it to her, a fear grew in my belly that I would actually have to demonstrate some of these things.
When I was about to test for my brown belt, about two weeks before the test, I got an e-mail from Sifu saying that she was having doubts that I should test so early (it was quite close to my green belt test). She had some concerns about my fighting skills. I had a conversation with her later that day (after weeping like a little girl and then growing rapidly pissed off) and she gave me the option to test or to postpone. She was worried that it would not be a good test for me and that there would be a lot asked of me as far as my advanced fighting skills.
I decided to test, and after much getting over of the hurt feelings, I decided to totally kick its ass. I did it too. And it was a hard test. I can't tell you how many people came up to me afterwards, flabbergasted by the level of intensity demanded of me at that test. I think Sifu knew that she lit a fire under my ass and she wanted me to show it. I did. And then I knew that my black belt test was going to be a killer. I put that in the back of my mind.
I was explaning to my friend (and now to those of you who aren't in kung fu with me) about the difference between getting my black belt and reaching brown. First, there is no new material between brown and black, it's all about mastering material you already know. I thought I'd get bored with that, but I really didn't. I reached a couple plateaus, especially in my fighting skills, but I grew a lot this year. A lot.
I will be expected to show not just a knowledge of the material, which all previous ranks focus on, but now to allow the art to express itself through me, and to express it the way that I've taken it in. I will be faced with extremely difficult situations unfamiliar to me and asked to draw on all my skills without losing sight of the whole art by focusing on the difficulties or techniques. I have to do what I know. I need to show what I have.
I know I have a lot. But I also know that there is a LOT that i'm uncomfortable with. Throw me under a pile of people and ask me to get out from their grabs and chokes and I will do it. It might take a while, but I will do it. Hand them some knives and sticks and I tend to panic.
Sparring with one person, no problem. Throw in another and it's difficult. Add two or three more and it's no problem. (go figure) Give them some sticks and knives and, well.... you see where this is going. And I just have no idea what to expect.
Not to mention the exhaustion factor. This is a long, arduous test. I think Clayton and Julia's test was about 4 and a half hours. There were two of them, but I don't imagine it will be shorter with just me.
Oh yeah, did i mention that it will be JUST ME up there???
One thing I will say, though, is that I feel so totally supported my so many people right now. People are making a huge effort to support me in getting my black belt. One person is waiting a week to move into their new house that they just bought so they can be at the test. One person is skipping an annual party to be there. People have joined forces to make a nice party at a friend's house for afterwards and Clayton has offered to make invitations to that.
Dave has spent significant time training with me after hours and for long hours to help me prepare. Tristan has joined us when she can.
After some initial drama involving my husband and mom, my mom is coming from Florida. Tons of friends have said that they would be there to watch, even if just for a part of the test (did i mention that it's long?) including Dr. D from the clinic.
I am so grateful to have all that support.
I started my MCAT class (again). I feel stupid and like I can never get a good enough score on the exam. I took a practice Physics subject test today and got 38%. It was demoralizing. I know a lot of what I'm taking the class for is becoming comfortable with MCAT style questions (they like to be tricky) but still... demoralizing.
Monday I start O. Chem. I'd better get cracking! At least my studies will distract me from that PAAAAANIC!
Friday, June 01, 2007
Still Here...
Things have been smooth and busy lately, hence the blog inactivity. I just wanted to mention that my test is in THREE WEEKS (from tomorrow)!!!! I'm feeling pretty good - I'm just training as much as possible while still getting another A in Physics (seriously) and also taking care of my little one.
Sarv was here for a couple weeks, which was great! We miss him. I'm feeling sad and empty-housed now that he's gone (and Todd is out and Lucy's asleep).
Lu has been a real doll these past couple weeks. I find that my patience is often quite limited lately, but I'm trying to get a handle on it. Tonight I joked with her about how my patience was getting smaller and was the size of a walnut, so if she didn't get her #$%&! pajamas on it would get even smaller. Well, kinda joked. She thought it was funny. She hadn't napped and was asleep in a few short minutes after hitting the pillow....
She's been preoccupied with death lately. It's disconcerting. It's hard for me to be reassuring when I'm so uncertain about my beliefs there. I tell her that only our body dies and that our spirit lives on afterwards. She also asks a lot of questions about people who have died, like Jimmy, her grandfather (Todd's dad), Grampa's parents and asks why they died. She doesn't want to die and is afraid of it.
We also talk about how to keep our bodies healthy, which is certainly where I feel much more comfortable. She's so confident in her understanding of that - "I'll never eat that bad junk food ever!" Tee hee. When she asked why her grandfather (Todd's dad again) got sick enough to die, I told her that he didn't take care of his body and did things that were very bad for it and eventually it couldn't repair itself. She then asked what sorts of things keep our body healthy (hurray!) and I told her about eating healthy grow foods and moving around and playing all the time. What fun!
So, did I mention that I'm testing for my black belt?
I had my last Physics class of the quarter today. Final's on Tuesday. As long as I don't totally screw the pooch on the final (possible) I'll be getting my A! Hurray! Who'da thunk...
Then the ridiculous MCAT prep class and O. Chem. My Summer is gonna suck. It may prove to be too much, in which case I'll have to decide whether or not to continue with O. Chem or the MCAT class. Dropping the MCAT class and postponing my MCAT basically postpones my med school application for a year. O. Chem can wait, but I wouldn't be able to take biochem in time, which would be a drag... I'm weighing my options and waiting to see just how completely crazy it is to do both. At least I won't be preparing for my black belt any more.
Lucy started kung fu! And she loves it. She is also doing gymnastics and she is fantastic! She really throws herself into it and has a great time. I'm so impressed by her. I'm letting her lead the way and let me know if she wants to let any of it go - there's a circus class I'd love for her to try, but seriously... anyway, she's so excited to go to both things that we have been unable to drop either. We'll see how it goes next session when she'll probably have a different teacher in gymnastics. That could change everything. Of course not with kung fu - Tristan teaches the little ones and she adores Tristan.
I guess that's the update for now....
Sarv was here for a couple weeks, which was great! We miss him. I'm feeling sad and empty-housed now that he's gone (and Todd is out and Lucy's asleep).
Lu has been a real doll these past couple weeks. I find that my patience is often quite limited lately, but I'm trying to get a handle on it. Tonight I joked with her about how my patience was getting smaller and was the size of a walnut, so if she didn't get her #$%&! pajamas on it would get even smaller. Well, kinda joked. She thought it was funny. She hadn't napped and was asleep in a few short minutes after hitting the pillow....
She's been preoccupied with death lately. It's disconcerting. It's hard for me to be reassuring when I'm so uncertain about my beliefs there. I tell her that only our body dies and that our spirit lives on afterwards. She also asks a lot of questions about people who have died, like Jimmy, her grandfather (Todd's dad), Grampa's parents and asks why they died. She doesn't want to die and is afraid of it.
We also talk about how to keep our bodies healthy, which is certainly where I feel much more comfortable. She's so confident in her understanding of that - "I'll never eat that bad junk food ever!" Tee hee. When she asked why her grandfather (Todd's dad again) got sick enough to die, I told her that he didn't take care of his body and did things that were very bad for it and eventually it couldn't repair itself. She then asked what sorts of things keep our body healthy (hurray!) and I told her about eating healthy grow foods and moving around and playing all the time. What fun!
So, did I mention that I'm testing for my black belt?
I had my last Physics class of the quarter today. Final's on Tuesday. As long as I don't totally screw the pooch on the final (possible) I'll be getting my A! Hurray! Who'da thunk...
Then the ridiculous MCAT prep class and O. Chem. My Summer is gonna suck. It may prove to be too much, in which case I'll have to decide whether or not to continue with O. Chem or the MCAT class. Dropping the MCAT class and postponing my MCAT basically postpones my med school application for a year. O. Chem can wait, but I wouldn't be able to take biochem in time, which would be a drag... I'm weighing my options and waiting to see just how completely crazy it is to do both. At least I won't be preparing for my black belt any more.
Lucy started kung fu! And she loves it. She is also doing gymnastics and she is fantastic! She really throws herself into it and has a great time. I'm so impressed by her. I'm letting her lead the way and let me know if she wants to let any of it go - there's a circus class I'd love for her to try, but seriously... anyway, she's so excited to go to both things that we have been unable to drop either. We'll see how it goes next session when she'll probably have a different teacher in gymnastics. That could change everything. Of course not with kung fu - Tristan teaches the little ones and she adores Tristan.
I guess that's the update for now....
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Pluggin' Away
Well, the countdown continues. 5 weeks and 4 days until my black belt test. Did you hear me, FIVE WEEKS AND FOUR DAYS!!!! Holy man.
My Mondays are pretty much all about training - I do about an hour of self-training at the school, followed by an hour of death-training with the trainer at the gym. Then, Physics, then in the evening 1 - 2 hours of kung fu class, and once a month (last night) there is brown/black belt class at 7 star which I also attend. I was VERY tired when I came home last night. I'm upping my personal training for the rest of this month to 2x/week. It's really helping with my conditioning, I can't imagine trying to do this without help!
On the upside - the test is at the beginning of the Summer, which means I get to show off my finely-tuned machine of a body for the remainder of swimsuit season. :)
There are only 3 more weeks left of the quarter - one more exam and then the final. I think I did pretty well on that last exam, but I won't know until tomorrow.
Tonight my dad arrives for 2 weeks! I'm very excited, as is Lucy. I told her she could stay up late and wait for him to arrive, so long as she has a nap at school today. Hurray for grampas and free babysitters! Heh.
I have been working hard on my AMCAS application (the central application for medical school). I have a pretty reasonable rough draft of my personal statement, which is the hard part. I have filled out *most* of the rest of it - now it's just a matter of fine-tuning and then of course waiting until August 20 to take my MCAT.
I've been feeling so committed to getting into medical school, that I realized that if i don't get in, I will be devastated.... let's not go there.
My Summer is going to be crazy. I think I will have to quit or at least minimize the clinic, which makes me utterly sad. But I need to do everything I can to crank the MCAT. I am so looking forward to that being over...
Well, time for me to get Grampa's bed and room ready.
My Mondays are pretty much all about training - I do about an hour of self-training at the school, followed by an hour of death-training with the trainer at the gym. Then, Physics, then in the evening 1 - 2 hours of kung fu class, and once a month (last night) there is brown/black belt class at 7 star which I also attend. I was VERY tired when I came home last night. I'm upping my personal training for the rest of this month to 2x/week. It's really helping with my conditioning, I can't imagine trying to do this without help!
On the upside - the test is at the beginning of the Summer, which means I get to show off my finely-tuned machine of a body for the remainder of swimsuit season. :)
There are only 3 more weeks left of the quarter - one more exam and then the final. I think I did pretty well on that last exam, but I won't know until tomorrow.
Tonight my dad arrives for 2 weeks! I'm very excited, as is Lucy. I told her she could stay up late and wait for him to arrive, so long as she has a nap at school today. Hurray for grampas and free babysitters! Heh.
I have been working hard on my AMCAS application (the central application for medical school). I have a pretty reasonable rough draft of my personal statement, which is the hard part. I have filled out *most* of the rest of it - now it's just a matter of fine-tuning and then of course waiting until August 20 to take my MCAT.
I've been feeling so committed to getting into medical school, that I realized that if i don't get in, I will be devastated.... let's not go there.
My Summer is going to be crazy. I think I will have to quit or at least minimize the clinic, which makes me utterly sad. But I need to do everything I can to crank the MCAT. I am so looking forward to that being over...
Well, time for me to get Grampa's bed and room ready.
Friday, May 11, 2007
The Ego Gets a Stroke
In the clinic the other day, Dr. C took me aside to aske me what *I* thought about the other student - a Nurse Practitioner student who is doing a rotation in the peds clinic. Me, a premed with absolutely no training (yet). I gave her my opinion - basically that the student is nice, but that she relies mainly on her knowledge of text, follows the form she wants to fill out, and doesn't listen to the experience of the parents. This is clearly frustrating for parents, which (when she's taking a history) is usually when i step in basically to repeat something a parent said.
Anyway, Dr. C completely agreed with me and told me she was glad it wasn't just her, (there were some other things that bothered her as well) and she was going to have a talk with her.
*puffs chest out with pride*
I just felt like she really trusted my opinion and also that she viewed me as a capable person in the medical field. Hurray!
It's nice to get noticed.
Also, I sort of kicked my Physics test's ass today. Well, maybe not, but it felt pretty OK. It's so hard to tell.
Lucy is calling me, "I'm ready for you mama!!!!!" Time to put the little booger to bed.
Anyway, Dr. C completely agreed with me and told me she was glad it wasn't just her, (there were some other things that bothered her as well) and she was going to have a talk with her.
*puffs chest out with pride*
I just felt like she really trusted my opinion and also that she viewed me as a capable person in the medical field. Hurray!
It's nice to get noticed.
Also, I sort of kicked my Physics test's ass today. Well, maybe not, but it felt pretty OK. It's so hard to tell.
Lucy is calling me, "I'm ready for you mama!!!!!" Time to put the little booger to bed.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
More Angry Moments
Lucy: I'm mad!
Papa: Why are you so mad?
Lucy: Because mama drank my FRICKIN' water!
Papa: Why are you so mad?
Lucy: Because mama drank my FRICKIN' water!
Sunday, May 06, 2007
New Forms of Protest
I walked in to the house yesterday to find my daughter bare-bottomed.
"What happened to your pants?"
"I was so mad, I took off my pants."
"Oh."
"What happened to your pants?"
"I was so mad, I took off my pants."
"Oh."
Monday, April 30, 2007
The bipolar nature of being me
I went to a medical school info session at my local med school of choice. It was really exciting! (No, i am being serious... i'm excited). The first half was a description of the curriculum here, which is really innovative and well-suited to me. Lots of small group learning and opportunities to work with underserved populations. I got all jittery thinking of myself as a medical student - imagining myself as one of those students, an actual member of a medical team. I'm all gooey about it.
The second half of the session was an admissions person describing what it takes to get in. As she went over everything, I began to feel comfortable, like yes, i am an extremely desirable candidate. I have good academic records, solid clinical experience, a long work history, an interesting background, etc. etc. Then at the Q & A at the end, I asked about Evergreen and what would be done with my transcripts.
(For those of you who don't know me personally, I went to the Evergreen State College as an undergrad. It is an alternative school, which focuses on collaborative interdisciplinary studies and also offers no grades. Students are given comprehensive written evaluations from each of their professors instead.)
I was essentially told that my transcripts would be ignored and that they would calculate a GPA estimate based on my MCAT scores. YIKES! Way to put double pressure on my MCAT!!!! That also means that they will ignore all the excellent grades I've gotten SINCE Evergreen - and the MCAT will be the only thing quantified - at least in the first round of the application process until they get to the interviews, assuming i make it that far.
Holy shit! I'd better get cracking.
So, yeah, that changes my focus a little. I mean, i still want to ace Physics and all the classes that follow, but I really need to start cracking down on MCAT studies NOW.
That's what I'm doing right now, by the way. :)
Lucy is no longer a nursling! The weaning process was SO much easier than I'd anticipated. We started a little over a week ago, I said she could get a Mater (truck from "Cars") when we went down to 2 times a day. That was relatively painless. Then on Friday night, I told her about Sally (Porsche from "Cars" - yes, i had a stash) - she could get Sally when we went down to one time a day. When she realized there were more cars to be had, she said she was ready to stop nursing, so I got out Doc and Lightening.
She fussed a little at bed time that night but i cuddled with her and told her that I knew it was really hard to make that decision and that she could nurse if she wanted to and I would put the cars away until she was ready. She wanted the cars more than nursing and so contented to snuggle.
There have been a couple moments like that, but she is seemingly at peace with no nursing! I thought I'd feel a little sad about it, but I'm so proud of her and I'm really just excited to move out of that phase of life. It'll be nice to have my boobs back to myself.
I know a lot of people question the fact that we nursed so long, but first I would like to say, well, basically, it's none of your business and so there. But since I just made it your business by writing about it publicly, I would just like to say that there is no other choice I would have made with this child. I have an incredibly attached, intelligent, articulate, and sensitive child who is also amazingly INDEPENDENT.
In many children, nursing is the only time they stop, settle, and relax. It is also a time to cuddle and connect with mama. We enjoyed that relationship for a long time and I know that if I'd tried to wean a year or even 6 months ago (i often suggested that we would soon stop and got a NOT YET type response) it would be met with terrible resistance and regression, as has been the case with transitions I've attempted to force or speed up with her. I know that we were both ready for this change because (knock wood) it has been absolutely painless. She has been a joy to be around and I think she is really proud of herself for making the decision to stop.
She turns 3 and a half, gets her first haircut (oh man it's cute), and quits nursing all in the same week!
Well back to the books.
The second half of the session was an admissions person describing what it takes to get in. As she went over everything, I began to feel comfortable, like yes, i am an extremely desirable candidate. I have good academic records, solid clinical experience, a long work history, an interesting background, etc. etc. Then at the Q & A at the end, I asked about Evergreen and what would be done with my transcripts.
(For those of you who don't know me personally, I went to the Evergreen State College as an undergrad. It is an alternative school, which focuses on collaborative interdisciplinary studies and also offers no grades. Students are given comprehensive written evaluations from each of their professors instead.)
I was essentially told that my transcripts would be ignored and that they would calculate a GPA estimate based on my MCAT scores. YIKES! Way to put double pressure on my MCAT!!!! That also means that they will ignore all the excellent grades I've gotten SINCE Evergreen - and the MCAT will be the only thing quantified - at least in the first round of the application process until they get to the interviews, assuming i make it that far.
Holy shit! I'd better get cracking.
So, yeah, that changes my focus a little. I mean, i still want to ace Physics and all the classes that follow, but I really need to start cracking down on MCAT studies NOW.
That's what I'm doing right now, by the way. :)
Lucy is no longer a nursling! The weaning process was SO much easier than I'd anticipated. We started a little over a week ago, I said she could get a Mater (truck from "Cars") when we went down to 2 times a day. That was relatively painless. Then on Friday night, I told her about Sally (Porsche from "Cars" - yes, i had a stash) - she could get Sally when we went down to one time a day. When she realized there were more cars to be had, she said she was ready to stop nursing, so I got out Doc and Lightening.
She fussed a little at bed time that night but i cuddled with her and told her that I knew it was really hard to make that decision and that she could nurse if she wanted to and I would put the cars away until she was ready. She wanted the cars more than nursing and so contented to snuggle.
There have been a couple moments like that, but she is seemingly at peace with no nursing! I thought I'd feel a little sad about it, but I'm so proud of her and I'm really just excited to move out of that phase of life. It'll be nice to have my boobs back to myself.
I know a lot of people question the fact that we nursed so long, but first I would like to say, well, basically, it's none of your business and so there. But since I just made it your business by writing about it publicly, I would just like to say that there is no other choice I would have made with this child. I have an incredibly attached, intelligent, articulate, and sensitive child who is also amazingly INDEPENDENT.
In many children, nursing is the only time they stop, settle, and relax. It is also a time to cuddle and connect with mama. We enjoyed that relationship for a long time and I know that if I'd tried to wean a year or even 6 months ago (i often suggested that we would soon stop and got a NOT YET type response) it would be met with terrible resistance and regression, as has been the case with transitions I've attempted to force or speed up with her. I know that we were both ready for this change because (knock wood) it has been absolutely painless. She has been a joy to be around and I think she is really proud of herself for making the decision to stop.
She turns 3 and a half, gets her first haircut (oh man it's cute), and quits nursing all in the same week!
Well back to the books.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Thoughts and Inspiration
As any of you who have been reading my blog know, I've been tormented with whether or not to go to med school. I'm back. I'm forth. I'm in. I'm out... tormented is not an understatement.
Well, I've spent much of the week perusing a blog written by a mother of 3, who after staying at home with her children for several years and never felt quite settled (i'm paraphrasing, but only because I feel so familiar with it), tried and got in to her first choice medical school. The blog chronicles her from her interviews and application process through medical school, where she is MS3 (that med student, third year for the rest of y'all). It tells of the ups and downs, and they are extreme in the process, and I consistently feel like "yes! That's me! I CAN do this! And i WANT to do this!!!"
We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow is Kids Clinic, I will certainly feel this way tomorrow :)
I've been drawing parallels between reaching black belt in kung fu and becoming a doctor. Black belt is a goal I've held for 9 years. It always felt like, well, when I get a black belt, that will be huge. I'll know all I need to know - I mean, I never thought I would know all I need to know, but you know... that I will be THERE. Once I realized that I would NEVER know all I needed to know, I was much more open to learning all I could. I think in medicine it will be the same way.
It's easy to think that doctors should be at that place, should know everything. I think that attitude destroys a lot of doctors, makes them feel inadequate. Or many doctors feel that they are there and that makes them arrogant and lousy doctors because of their unwillingness to accept what they don't know.
There is a balance to be found. To know that you can never know enough. To allow that knowledge to keep you open to learning everything you want to know. Constant openness to learning, that's part of what makes a good doctor. One that knows she is not THERE, but relishes that instead of punishing herself.
I walk on either side of that line in kung fu a lot, and I'm sure I will with medicine as well.
/pontification
Got my grade back from the first physics exam. Did much better than expected. Stop laughing.
Overheard from my basement:
Papa drops something
Papa: Shit!
Lucy: Don't say shit. That's not nice. I don't say shit. I DON'T! I don't say shit. I don't say crock of shit either.
Where did she ever even HEAR that one?! Grampa?
Today Lucy is 3 and a half.
Today marks 2 months left until my black belt test. TWO!
p.s. Katy and Tiffany, two great ladies, tested for their orange belts last Thursday night. They were awesome. It was amazing to see how they've progressed, both with each their own strengths and weaknesses, from when they began a little over a year ago. Congratulations orangeys! Where have you been? We have yet to see the new belts ;)
Well, I've spent much of the week perusing a blog written by a mother of 3, who after staying at home with her children for several years and never felt quite settled (i'm paraphrasing, but only because I feel so familiar with it), tried and got in to her first choice medical school. The blog chronicles her from her interviews and application process through medical school, where she is MS3 (that med student, third year for the rest of y'all). It tells of the ups and downs, and they are extreme in the process, and I consistently feel like "yes! That's me! I CAN do this! And i WANT to do this!!!"
We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow is Kids Clinic, I will certainly feel this way tomorrow :)
I've been drawing parallels between reaching black belt in kung fu and becoming a doctor. Black belt is a goal I've held for 9 years. It always felt like, well, when I get a black belt, that will be huge. I'll know all I need to know - I mean, I never thought I would know all I need to know, but you know... that I will be THERE. Once I realized that I would NEVER know all I needed to know, I was much more open to learning all I could. I think in medicine it will be the same way.
It's easy to think that doctors should be at that place, should know everything. I think that attitude destroys a lot of doctors, makes them feel inadequate. Or many doctors feel that they are there and that makes them arrogant and lousy doctors because of their unwillingness to accept what they don't know.
There is a balance to be found. To know that you can never know enough. To allow that knowledge to keep you open to learning everything you want to know. Constant openness to learning, that's part of what makes a good doctor. One that knows she is not THERE, but relishes that instead of punishing herself.
I walk on either side of that line in kung fu a lot, and I'm sure I will with medicine as well.
/pontification
Got my grade back from the first physics exam. Did much better than expected. Stop laughing.
Overheard from my basement:
Papa drops something
Papa: Shit!
Lucy: Don't say shit. That's not nice. I don't say shit. I DON'T! I don't say shit. I don't say crock of shit either.
Where did she ever even HEAR that one?! Grampa?
Today Lucy is 3 and a half.
Today marks 2 months left until my black belt test. TWO!
p.s. Katy and Tiffany, two great ladies, tested for their orange belts last Thursday night. They were awesome. It was amazing to see how they've progressed, both with each their own strengths and weaknesses, from when they began a little over a year ago. Congratulations orangeys! Where have you been? We have yet to see the new belts ;)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Oh no, not again
Just a short rant. Why does physics suck?
2nd quarter. I studied for the first exam AGAIN. I saw the tutor. I felt pretty comfortable and AGAIN i sat down and didn't even recognize what I was looking at.
This SUCKS! Seriously, I feel like I need to constantly be solving physics problems in all my spare time just to figure anything out. I forget instantly how to solve problems the moment I walk away. It's not good.
I'm feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, hopefully others will have felt the same way and the curve will be huge. You never know....
A funny story -
Yesterday, lucy was freaking out about a teeny tiny spider on the wall in the kitchen.
"Get it mama! Get it!"
(Tired morning mama) "Ok, OK, where is it? I don't know if i can get it."
"Papa gets them easy, get it!"
"OK, hang on."
As i reach for the spider with the paper towel and it's skittering around, she shouts, "Get it mama! It's UNSTOPPABLE!"
I'm still laughing about that one.
2nd quarter. I studied for the first exam AGAIN. I saw the tutor. I felt pretty comfortable and AGAIN i sat down and didn't even recognize what I was looking at.
This SUCKS! Seriously, I feel like I need to constantly be solving physics problems in all my spare time just to figure anything out. I forget instantly how to solve problems the moment I walk away. It's not good.
I'm feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, hopefully others will have felt the same way and the curve will be huge. You never know....
A funny story -
Yesterday, lucy was freaking out about a teeny tiny spider on the wall in the kitchen.
"Get it mama! Get it!"
(Tired morning mama) "Ok, OK, where is it? I don't know if i can get it."
"Papa gets them easy, get it!"
"OK, hang on."
As i reach for the spider with the paper towel and it's skittering around, she shouts, "Get it mama! It's UNSTOPPABLE!"
I'm still laughing about that one.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Less is More
So I officially bit off more than I could chew.
I started the 2nd quarter of Organic Chem - I took a quarter of it at a different University about 5 years ago and did well, so i thought, sure, why not, i can totally pick up wherevery they left off. Well, I was tragically misguided - I spent a week trying to fill myself in on 2 quarters of Organic Chemistry at once. It was ridiculous. So I dropped that and entered the 2nd quarter of Physics instead. I was so happy to be doing something I recognized, I realized I was actually enjoying Physics! Ah the irony...
Then there is the MCAT class. I was in that for a week and I was not seeing my family at all. It was miserable. I had kung fu Tues and Thurs nights, and MCAT on Wednesday plus the occasional Monday - that coupled with being away from Lucy most days, I was not getting any good family time. I realized it was too much, I couldn't even keep up with my homework, much less enjoy my family. So I postponed the MCAT class until June, so I can focus on my kung fu training (2 and a half months and counting - but who's counting) and hopefully ace Physics while I'm at it.
That makes my MCAT class an intensive (M, W, F class - 3 hours each, it's completely insane) plus I'll be taking the first quarter of O Chem - so i'll be crazed during the summer, but at least I'll be done with my black belt test. And it's a day class, so I won't be gone from Lucy quite so much.
I ran 4 miles today with my friend Elise and then did all my forms for her on the pier. I don't think i've ever run 4 miles before! I was very proud of myself. Plus, she enjoyed watching my forms so much that she has decided to try kung fu starting on Monday. Hurray! And someone inside a restaurant overlooking the pier ran out to ask me what I was doing and to tell me that she had to try it herself, so I may have just landed us 2 new recruits. Awesome.
Lucy's been sick. I've been completely crazed. She wants only mama when she's sick and we haven't been sleeping very well. I accidentally dropped her this morning and to add injury to insult... i gave her a bloody nose. She was completely miserable with a snotting bloody nose all morning. She seems to be feeling better now, so i have hopes for this evening's sleep...
2 months 2 weeks and 2 days to black belt
4 and a half months to MCAT
and then
ONE GLORIOUS MONTH of vacation
I started the 2nd quarter of Organic Chem - I took a quarter of it at a different University about 5 years ago and did well, so i thought, sure, why not, i can totally pick up wherevery they left off. Well, I was tragically misguided - I spent a week trying to fill myself in on 2 quarters of Organic Chemistry at once. It was ridiculous. So I dropped that and entered the 2nd quarter of Physics instead. I was so happy to be doing something I recognized, I realized I was actually enjoying Physics! Ah the irony...
Then there is the MCAT class. I was in that for a week and I was not seeing my family at all. It was miserable. I had kung fu Tues and Thurs nights, and MCAT on Wednesday plus the occasional Monday - that coupled with being away from Lucy most days, I was not getting any good family time. I realized it was too much, I couldn't even keep up with my homework, much less enjoy my family. So I postponed the MCAT class until June, so I can focus on my kung fu training (2 and a half months and counting - but who's counting) and hopefully ace Physics while I'm at it.
That makes my MCAT class an intensive (M, W, F class - 3 hours each, it's completely insane) plus I'll be taking the first quarter of O Chem - so i'll be crazed during the summer, but at least I'll be done with my black belt test. And it's a day class, so I won't be gone from Lucy quite so much.
I ran 4 miles today with my friend Elise and then did all my forms for her on the pier. I don't think i've ever run 4 miles before! I was very proud of myself. Plus, she enjoyed watching my forms so much that she has decided to try kung fu starting on Monday. Hurray! And someone inside a restaurant overlooking the pier ran out to ask me what I was doing and to tell me that she had to try it herself, so I may have just landed us 2 new recruits. Awesome.
Lucy's been sick. I've been completely crazed. She wants only mama when she's sick and we haven't been sleeping very well. I accidentally dropped her this morning and to add injury to insult... i gave her a bloody nose. She was completely miserable with a snotting bloody nose all morning. She seems to be feeling better now, so i have hopes for this evening's sleep...
2 months 2 weeks and 2 days to black belt
4 and a half months to MCAT
and then
ONE GLORIOUS MONTH of vacation
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Rollercoaster Ridin'
You know that feeling as you slowly truck up to the top of the rollercoaster, terrified and thrilled, excited, elated, and a little bit sick just anticipating what is to come.... that's how i'm feeling lately.
There was a belt test at the school Saturday - advanced belts all grunting and sweating to prove themselves to an enormous panel of black belts. It was a great test, inspiring and in the end, emotional. I laughed, I cried...
It was the last test before my test.
Holy shit.
My injuries have kept me from really pushing like i did before previous tests. My martial arts is improving, but I'm definitely not physically THERE yet. I can't really hold a horse stance (thank you hip dysplasia - maybe i should be put out to pasture like a german shephard), I can't do sweeps and I've said goodbye to most high kicks. Lately, I can't even do a roundhouse kick because of the new problem in my other hip.
Surprisingly, all this said, until now, I've been fairly optimistic about my test. Until now, I've been focused on feeling good, retraining my muscles to work correctly - getting out of pain, and for the most part, I'm able to keep my pain in check. Doing what i do now, that is, which is somewhat gingerly practicing the art of kung fu.
I now need to kick up my training a notch. I'm a little afraid I'll hurt myself and not be able to test.
More than a little afraid.
Then, of course, there are the skills.
Oh yes, and finding the TIME to train... how's that again?
I've literally mapped out my next two weeks: each day from Lucy drop-off to Lucy pick-up and then some - It is entirely filled with stuff I have to do - class stuff, MCAT prep class stuff, and kung fu training stuff.
The moment of truth is here. I have it planned out, down to the infinitesimal detail of how much of my homework I need to do each day for each class - now it's time to put it all into action and get ready for the black belt test and then shortly thereafter, the MCAT.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
There was a belt test at the school Saturday - advanced belts all grunting and sweating to prove themselves to an enormous panel of black belts. It was a great test, inspiring and in the end, emotional. I laughed, I cried...
It was the last test before my test.
Holy shit.
My injuries have kept me from really pushing like i did before previous tests. My martial arts is improving, but I'm definitely not physically THERE yet. I can't really hold a horse stance (thank you hip dysplasia - maybe i should be put out to pasture like a german shephard), I can't do sweeps and I've said goodbye to most high kicks. Lately, I can't even do a roundhouse kick because of the new problem in my other hip.
Surprisingly, all this said, until now, I've been fairly optimistic about my test. Until now, I've been focused on feeling good, retraining my muscles to work correctly - getting out of pain, and for the most part, I'm able to keep my pain in check. Doing what i do now, that is, which is somewhat gingerly practicing the art of kung fu.
I now need to kick up my training a notch. I'm a little afraid I'll hurt myself and not be able to test.
More than a little afraid.
Then, of course, there are the skills.
Oh yes, and finding the TIME to train... how's that again?
I've literally mapped out my next two weeks: each day from Lucy drop-off to Lucy pick-up and then some - It is entirely filled with stuff I have to do - class stuff, MCAT prep class stuff, and kung fu training stuff.
The moment of truth is here. I have it planned out, down to the infinitesimal detail of how much of my homework I need to do each day for each class - now it's time to put it all into action and get ready for the black belt test and then shortly thereafter, the MCAT.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
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