First, I want to catch up on the ovary thing - I had my visit with the oncologist. I really liked him and feel very reassured that what I have is not cancer. He seemed quite positive based on blood tests, pt history, etc. On the other hand, he felt fairly certain that he would have to remove my entire ovary while he was in there. It won't affect my fertility (well, by 1/2 it will, but in the long run, whatever) or hormones, it's just a little jarring to have my girl-parts removed. I will miss you, little Right-y!
I will be in for surgery on April 10. Wish me luck, i'm quite nervous.
On Sunday, it just so happened to be Easter Sunday, which we don't celebrate or observe in any real way, Lucy, Todd, and I went out for Brunch at our very favorite local haunt. (http://www.stclouds.com). On our way, an older gent with a grizzly white beard and ratty clothes approached us. He seemed friendly and obviously homeless. He gave us a long story which amounted of course to being hungry and without money. We listened to him and told him that we would bring him some food after our breakfast if he was still around.
Through breakfast, Lucy had many questions. Does that man have no house? Does he live on the street? When we told her about the mean world and how sometimes no matter what people do, things happen to them where they end up without money and without a house and they need our help, the help of people who have money and houses. People who are lucky like us. She was so thoughtful about this. She was glad we would bring him food and she insisted on drawing a picture for him, too.
She said, "When I go home, I will get my piggy bank and count the money in it and bring it to him."
"When we move to Connecticut, that man can have our house."
The thing that was so amazing about her response was that it came from a place of love and compassion. Totally. There was no guilt or remorse or discomfort or pretense or fear in her response. She had generous concern for the welfare of this man. In her heart she knew that she wanted to make him feel better.
When we were done with our lunch, we went out in the rain with a boxed veggie omelette breakfast. The man was still out there on the street, and he was clearly grateful for the food. But I think he was more grateful for the way Lucy talked to him, openly and again without pretense or fear. She said she wanted to draw him a picture. He looked so genuinely pleased by her presence as he squatted low to hear what she had to say. I think it was this interaction between them that meant more to him than the simple gesture of food.
How I love that little being!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
On and Ovaries
So, I've been kinda busy with, well, nothing. It's hard to remember to blog when life has no exact rhythm and is more up and down and focus-free. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed it, and I've remained somehow completely busy, but it's not the same as having a predictable (though stressful) school or work schedule.
That said, I'm also having some freaky health issues. Those of you who have known me for some time know that I've had this silly ovarian cyst for years. In fact, I went the ER on my wedding night 5 years ago to find out what the pain in the abdomen was. I've been following it with a gynecologist since that time and recently went for a formal followup ultrasound. Long story short, it is now classified as a "complex, septated ovarian mass", which means that there are walls (septations) and that it has some fluid-filled and some solid compartments. New to this ultrasound, they ran a doppler and found that there is blood flow to the mass. These things are not good.
So I have to get it removed.
The gynecologist said i had to see an oncologist, which is the first thing that made me freak out. Of course, the word oncology being synonymous with cancer and certain death, I began to mentally plot out my funeral and make arrangements for Lucy and Todd's care (what, you think they take care of themselves?) Then the earliest the oncologist could get me in was April 10, over a month away, and the earliest they could schedule surgery would probably be mid-May, perilously close to our departure date.
I freaked out.
When I calmed myself down, I managed to remember (with Todd's help) that I have connections in the Medical world who could probably point me to someone with more immediate availability. I called Dr. C and she recommended this guy who is apparently top dog around here in gynecological oncology and he is getting me in tomorrow for the consult and April 10 for the surgery. Phew.
I am going back and forth between being relatively secure that this thing is benign and totally freaking out and trying to figure out how long chemo treatment will last and what other treatment I will have to endure... I will keep you posted, but I do think chances are good in my favor. My age, the fact that I have carried a child, the lack of ovarian cancer in my family and the family history non-malignant ovarian growths (my mom) all play out in my favor. But there is always a chance (furiously knocking on wood).
Other than that, our move date looms near.... 2.5 months to go! We fly out to New Haven in a couple weeks to sign for our house and register Lucy for school (she got into the good school we liked... Hurray for public school!)
I got this awesome xtracycle attached to my bike (http://www.xtracycle.com) and there are some ape-hanger handlebars so Lucy can ride on it. It rocks! New Haven is relatively flat so I imagine that Lucy and I will make many bike trips here and there and I will certainly ride to school when weather permits.
I am beginning to grow deeply sad about leaving the life I've made for myself here in Seattle for the past 14 years and don't know whether or not we will return... we just might! My friends, kung fu, small things like the restaurants I go to and the parks we play in... *sigh*
But, there are many things I'm looking forward to in New Haven. Having a built-in community of friends is pretty amazing - Joe, Sarj, and Lisa will all be there. My dad close by... it will be pretty great.
That said, I'm also having some freaky health issues. Those of you who have known me for some time know that I've had this silly ovarian cyst for years. In fact, I went the ER on my wedding night 5 years ago to find out what the pain in the abdomen was. I've been following it with a gynecologist since that time and recently went for a formal followup ultrasound. Long story short, it is now classified as a "complex, septated ovarian mass", which means that there are walls (septations) and that it has some fluid-filled and some solid compartments. New to this ultrasound, they ran a doppler and found that there is blood flow to the mass. These things are not good.
So I have to get it removed.
The gynecologist said i had to see an oncologist, which is the first thing that made me freak out. Of course, the word oncology being synonymous with cancer and certain death, I began to mentally plot out my funeral and make arrangements for Lucy and Todd's care (what, you think they take care of themselves?) Then the earliest the oncologist could get me in was April 10, over a month away, and the earliest they could schedule surgery would probably be mid-May, perilously close to our departure date.
I freaked out.
When I calmed myself down, I managed to remember (with Todd's help) that I have connections in the Medical world who could probably point me to someone with more immediate availability. I called Dr. C and she recommended this guy who is apparently top dog around here in gynecological oncology and he is getting me in tomorrow for the consult and April 10 for the surgery. Phew.
I am going back and forth between being relatively secure that this thing is benign and totally freaking out and trying to figure out how long chemo treatment will last and what other treatment I will have to endure... I will keep you posted, but I do think chances are good in my favor. My age, the fact that I have carried a child, the lack of ovarian cancer in my family and the family history non-malignant ovarian growths (my mom) all play out in my favor. But there is always a chance (furiously knocking on wood).
Other than that, our move date looms near.... 2.5 months to go! We fly out to New Haven in a couple weeks to sign for our house and register Lucy for school (she got into the good school we liked... Hurray for public school!)
I got this awesome xtracycle attached to my bike (http://www.xtracycle.com) and there are some ape-hanger handlebars so Lucy can ride on it. It rocks! New Haven is relatively flat so I imagine that Lucy and I will make many bike trips here and there and I will certainly ride to school when weather permits.
I am beginning to grow deeply sad about leaving the life I've made for myself here in Seattle for the past 14 years and don't know whether or not we will return... we just might! My friends, kung fu, small things like the restaurants I go to and the parks we play in... *sigh*
But, there are many things I'm looking forward to in New Haven. Having a built-in community of friends is pretty amazing - Joe, Sarj, and Lisa will all be there. My dad close by... it will be pretty great.
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