I went to a medical school info session at my local med school of choice. It was really exciting! (No, i am being serious... i'm excited). The first half was a description of the curriculum here, which is really innovative and well-suited to me. Lots of small group learning and opportunities to work with underserved populations. I got all jittery thinking of myself as a medical student - imagining myself as one of those students, an actual member of a medical team. I'm all gooey about it.
The second half of the session was an admissions person describing what it takes to get in. As she went over everything, I began to feel comfortable, like yes, i am an extremely desirable candidate. I have good academic records, solid clinical experience, a long work history, an interesting background, etc. etc. Then at the Q & A at the end, I asked about Evergreen and what would be done with my transcripts.
(For those of you who don't know me personally, I went to the Evergreen State College as an undergrad. It is an alternative school, which focuses on collaborative interdisciplinary studies and also offers no grades. Students are given comprehensive written evaluations from each of their professors instead.)
I was essentially told that my transcripts would be ignored and that they would calculate a GPA estimate based on my MCAT scores. YIKES! Way to put double pressure on my MCAT!!!! That also means that they will ignore all the excellent grades I've gotten SINCE Evergreen - and the MCAT will be the only thing quantified - at least in the first round of the application process until they get to the interviews, assuming i make it that far.
Holy shit! I'd better get cracking.
So, yeah, that changes my focus a little. I mean, i still want to ace Physics and all the classes that follow, but I really need to start cracking down on MCAT studies NOW.
That's what I'm doing right now, by the way. :)
Lucy is no longer a nursling! The weaning process was SO much easier than I'd anticipated. We started a little over a week ago, I said she could get a Mater (truck from "Cars") when we went down to 2 times a day. That was relatively painless. Then on Friday night, I told her about Sally (Porsche from "Cars" - yes, i had a stash) - she could get Sally when we went down to one time a day. When she realized there were more cars to be had, she said she was ready to stop nursing, so I got out Doc and Lightening.
She fussed a little at bed time that night but i cuddled with her and told her that I knew it was really hard to make that decision and that she could nurse if she wanted to and I would put the cars away until she was ready. She wanted the cars more than nursing and so contented to snuggle.
There have been a couple moments like that, but she is seemingly at peace with no nursing! I thought I'd feel a little sad about it, but I'm so proud of her and I'm really just excited to move out of that phase of life. It'll be nice to have my boobs back to myself.
I know a lot of people question the fact that we nursed so long, but first I would like to say, well, basically, it's none of your business and so there. But since I just made it your business by writing about it publicly, I would just like to say that there is no other choice I would have made with this child. I have an incredibly attached, intelligent, articulate, and sensitive child who is also amazingly INDEPENDENT.
In many children, nursing is the only time they stop, settle, and relax. It is also a time to cuddle and connect with mama. We enjoyed that relationship for a long time and I know that if I'd tried to wean a year or even 6 months ago (i often suggested that we would soon stop and got a NOT YET type response) it would be met with terrible resistance and regression, as has been the case with transitions I've attempted to force or speed up with her. I know that we were both ready for this change because (knock wood) it has been absolutely painless. She has been a joy to be around and I think she is really proud of herself for making the decision to stop.
She turns 3 and a half, gets her first haircut (oh man it's cute), and quits nursing all in the same week!
Well back to the books.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Thoughts and Inspiration
As any of you who have been reading my blog know, I've been tormented with whether or not to go to med school. I'm back. I'm forth. I'm in. I'm out... tormented is not an understatement.
Well, I've spent much of the week perusing a blog written by a mother of 3, who after staying at home with her children for several years and never felt quite settled (i'm paraphrasing, but only because I feel so familiar with it), tried and got in to her first choice medical school. The blog chronicles her from her interviews and application process through medical school, where she is MS3 (that med student, third year for the rest of y'all). It tells of the ups and downs, and they are extreme in the process, and I consistently feel like "yes! That's me! I CAN do this! And i WANT to do this!!!"
We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow is Kids Clinic, I will certainly feel this way tomorrow :)
I've been drawing parallels between reaching black belt in kung fu and becoming a doctor. Black belt is a goal I've held for 9 years. It always felt like, well, when I get a black belt, that will be huge. I'll know all I need to know - I mean, I never thought I would know all I need to know, but you know... that I will be THERE. Once I realized that I would NEVER know all I needed to know, I was much more open to learning all I could. I think in medicine it will be the same way.
It's easy to think that doctors should be at that place, should know everything. I think that attitude destroys a lot of doctors, makes them feel inadequate. Or many doctors feel that they are there and that makes them arrogant and lousy doctors because of their unwillingness to accept what they don't know.
There is a balance to be found. To know that you can never know enough. To allow that knowledge to keep you open to learning everything you want to know. Constant openness to learning, that's part of what makes a good doctor. One that knows she is not THERE, but relishes that instead of punishing herself.
I walk on either side of that line in kung fu a lot, and I'm sure I will with medicine as well.
/pontification
Got my grade back from the first physics exam. Did much better than expected. Stop laughing.
Overheard from my basement:
Papa drops something
Papa: Shit!
Lucy: Don't say shit. That's not nice. I don't say shit. I DON'T! I don't say shit. I don't say crock of shit either.
Where did she ever even HEAR that one?! Grampa?
Today Lucy is 3 and a half.
Today marks 2 months left until my black belt test. TWO!
p.s. Katy and Tiffany, two great ladies, tested for their orange belts last Thursday night. They were awesome. It was amazing to see how they've progressed, both with each their own strengths and weaknesses, from when they began a little over a year ago. Congratulations orangeys! Where have you been? We have yet to see the new belts ;)
Well, I've spent much of the week perusing a blog written by a mother of 3, who after staying at home with her children for several years and never felt quite settled (i'm paraphrasing, but only because I feel so familiar with it), tried and got in to her first choice medical school. The blog chronicles her from her interviews and application process through medical school, where she is MS3 (that med student, third year for the rest of y'all). It tells of the ups and downs, and they are extreme in the process, and I consistently feel like "yes! That's me! I CAN do this! And i WANT to do this!!!"
We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow is Kids Clinic, I will certainly feel this way tomorrow :)
I've been drawing parallels between reaching black belt in kung fu and becoming a doctor. Black belt is a goal I've held for 9 years. It always felt like, well, when I get a black belt, that will be huge. I'll know all I need to know - I mean, I never thought I would know all I need to know, but you know... that I will be THERE. Once I realized that I would NEVER know all I needed to know, I was much more open to learning all I could. I think in medicine it will be the same way.
It's easy to think that doctors should be at that place, should know everything. I think that attitude destroys a lot of doctors, makes them feel inadequate. Or many doctors feel that they are there and that makes them arrogant and lousy doctors because of their unwillingness to accept what they don't know.
There is a balance to be found. To know that you can never know enough. To allow that knowledge to keep you open to learning everything you want to know. Constant openness to learning, that's part of what makes a good doctor. One that knows she is not THERE, but relishes that instead of punishing herself.
I walk on either side of that line in kung fu a lot, and I'm sure I will with medicine as well.
/pontification
Got my grade back from the first physics exam. Did much better than expected. Stop laughing.
Overheard from my basement:
Papa drops something
Papa: Shit!
Lucy: Don't say shit. That's not nice. I don't say shit. I DON'T! I don't say shit. I don't say crock of shit either.
Where did she ever even HEAR that one?! Grampa?
Today Lucy is 3 and a half.
Today marks 2 months left until my black belt test. TWO!
p.s. Katy and Tiffany, two great ladies, tested for their orange belts last Thursday night. They were awesome. It was amazing to see how they've progressed, both with each their own strengths and weaknesses, from when they began a little over a year ago. Congratulations orangeys! Where have you been? We have yet to see the new belts ;)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Oh no, not again
Just a short rant. Why does physics suck?
2nd quarter. I studied for the first exam AGAIN. I saw the tutor. I felt pretty comfortable and AGAIN i sat down and didn't even recognize what I was looking at.
This SUCKS! Seriously, I feel like I need to constantly be solving physics problems in all my spare time just to figure anything out. I forget instantly how to solve problems the moment I walk away. It's not good.
I'm feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, hopefully others will have felt the same way and the curve will be huge. You never know....
A funny story -
Yesterday, lucy was freaking out about a teeny tiny spider on the wall in the kitchen.
"Get it mama! Get it!"
(Tired morning mama) "Ok, OK, where is it? I don't know if i can get it."
"Papa gets them easy, get it!"
"OK, hang on."
As i reach for the spider with the paper towel and it's skittering around, she shouts, "Get it mama! It's UNSTOPPABLE!"
I'm still laughing about that one.
2nd quarter. I studied for the first exam AGAIN. I saw the tutor. I felt pretty comfortable and AGAIN i sat down and didn't even recognize what I was looking at.
This SUCKS! Seriously, I feel like I need to constantly be solving physics problems in all my spare time just to figure anything out. I forget instantly how to solve problems the moment I walk away. It's not good.
I'm feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, hopefully others will have felt the same way and the curve will be huge. You never know....
A funny story -
Yesterday, lucy was freaking out about a teeny tiny spider on the wall in the kitchen.
"Get it mama! Get it!"
(Tired morning mama) "Ok, OK, where is it? I don't know if i can get it."
"Papa gets them easy, get it!"
"OK, hang on."
As i reach for the spider with the paper towel and it's skittering around, she shouts, "Get it mama! It's UNSTOPPABLE!"
I'm still laughing about that one.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Less is More
So I officially bit off more than I could chew.
I started the 2nd quarter of Organic Chem - I took a quarter of it at a different University about 5 years ago and did well, so i thought, sure, why not, i can totally pick up wherevery they left off. Well, I was tragically misguided - I spent a week trying to fill myself in on 2 quarters of Organic Chemistry at once. It was ridiculous. So I dropped that and entered the 2nd quarter of Physics instead. I was so happy to be doing something I recognized, I realized I was actually enjoying Physics! Ah the irony...
Then there is the MCAT class. I was in that for a week and I was not seeing my family at all. It was miserable. I had kung fu Tues and Thurs nights, and MCAT on Wednesday plus the occasional Monday - that coupled with being away from Lucy most days, I was not getting any good family time. I realized it was too much, I couldn't even keep up with my homework, much less enjoy my family. So I postponed the MCAT class until June, so I can focus on my kung fu training (2 and a half months and counting - but who's counting) and hopefully ace Physics while I'm at it.
That makes my MCAT class an intensive (M, W, F class - 3 hours each, it's completely insane) plus I'll be taking the first quarter of O Chem - so i'll be crazed during the summer, but at least I'll be done with my black belt test. And it's a day class, so I won't be gone from Lucy quite so much.
I ran 4 miles today with my friend Elise and then did all my forms for her on the pier. I don't think i've ever run 4 miles before! I was very proud of myself. Plus, she enjoyed watching my forms so much that she has decided to try kung fu starting on Monday. Hurray! And someone inside a restaurant overlooking the pier ran out to ask me what I was doing and to tell me that she had to try it herself, so I may have just landed us 2 new recruits. Awesome.
Lucy's been sick. I've been completely crazed. She wants only mama when she's sick and we haven't been sleeping very well. I accidentally dropped her this morning and to add injury to insult... i gave her a bloody nose. She was completely miserable with a snotting bloody nose all morning. She seems to be feeling better now, so i have hopes for this evening's sleep...
2 months 2 weeks and 2 days to black belt
4 and a half months to MCAT
and then
ONE GLORIOUS MONTH of vacation
I started the 2nd quarter of Organic Chem - I took a quarter of it at a different University about 5 years ago and did well, so i thought, sure, why not, i can totally pick up wherevery they left off. Well, I was tragically misguided - I spent a week trying to fill myself in on 2 quarters of Organic Chemistry at once. It was ridiculous. So I dropped that and entered the 2nd quarter of Physics instead. I was so happy to be doing something I recognized, I realized I was actually enjoying Physics! Ah the irony...
Then there is the MCAT class. I was in that for a week and I was not seeing my family at all. It was miserable. I had kung fu Tues and Thurs nights, and MCAT on Wednesday plus the occasional Monday - that coupled with being away from Lucy most days, I was not getting any good family time. I realized it was too much, I couldn't even keep up with my homework, much less enjoy my family. So I postponed the MCAT class until June, so I can focus on my kung fu training (2 and a half months and counting - but who's counting) and hopefully ace Physics while I'm at it.
That makes my MCAT class an intensive (M, W, F class - 3 hours each, it's completely insane) plus I'll be taking the first quarter of O Chem - so i'll be crazed during the summer, but at least I'll be done with my black belt test. And it's a day class, so I won't be gone from Lucy quite so much.
I ran 4 miles today with my friend Elise and then did all my forms for her on the pier. I don't think i've ever run 4 miles before! I was very proud of myself. Plus, she enjoyed watching my forms so much that she has decided to try kung fu starting on Monday. Hurray! And someone inside a restaurant overlooking the pier ran out to ask me what I was doing and to tell me that she had to try it herself, so I may have just landed us 2 new recruits. Awesome.
Lucy's been sick. I've been completely crazed. She wants only mama when she's sick and we haven't been sleeping very well. I accidentally dropped her this morning and to add injury to insult... i gave her a bloody nose. She was completely miserable with a snotting bloody nose all morning. She seems to be feeling better now, so i have hopes for this evening's sleep...
2 months 2 weeks and 2 days to black belt
4 and a half months to MCAT
and then
ONE GLORIOUS MONTH of vacation
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Rollercoaster Ridin'
You know that feeling as you slowly truck up to the top of the rollercoaster, terrified and thrilled, excited, elated, and a little bit sick just anticipating what is to come.... that's how i'm feeling lately.
There was a belt test at the school Saturday - advanced belts all grunting and sweating to prove themselves to an enormous panel of black belts. It was a great test, inspiring and in the end, emotional. I laughed, I cried...
It was the last test before my test.
Holy shit.
My injuries have kept me from really pushing like i did before previous tests. My martial arts is improving, but I'm definitely not physically THERE yet. I can't really hold a horse stance (thank you hip dysplasia - maybe i should be put out to pasture like a german shephard), I can't do sweeps and I've said goodbye to most high kicks. Lately, I can't even do a roundhouse kick because of the new problem in my other hip.
Surprisingly, all this said, until now, I've been fairly optimistic about my test. Until now, I've been focused on feeling good, retraining my muscles to work correctly - getting out of pain, and for the most part, I'm able to keep my pain in check. Doing what i do now, that is, which is somewhat gingerly practicing the art of kung fu.
I now need to kick up my training a notch. I'm a little afraid I'll hurt myself and not be able to test.
More than a little afraid.
Then, of course, there are the skills.
Oh yes, and finding the TIME to train... how's that again?
I've literally mapped out my next two weeks: each day from Lucy drop-off to Lucy pick-up and then some - It is entirely filled with stuff I have to do - class stuff, MCAT prep class stuff, and kung fu training stuff.
The moment of truth is here. I have it planned out, down to the infinitesimal detail of how much of my homework I need to do each day for each class - now it's time to put it all into action and get ready for the black belt test and then shortly thereafter, the MCAT.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
There was a belt test at the school Saturday - advanced belts all grunting and sweating to prove themselves to an enormous panel of black belts. It was a great test, inspiring and in the end, emotional. I laughed, I cried...
It was the last test before my test.
Holy shit.
My injuries have kept me from really pushing like i did before previous tests. My martial arts is improving, but I'm definitely not physically THERE yet. I can't really hold a horse stance (thank you hip dysplasia - maybe i should be put out to pasture like a german shephard), I can't do sweeps and I've said goodbye to most high kicks. Lately, I can't even do a roundhouse kick because of the new problem in my other hip.
Surprisingly, all this said, until now, I've been fairly optimistic about my test. Until now, I've been focused on feeling good, retraining my muscles to work correctly - getting out of pain, and for the most part, I'm able to keep my pain in check. Doing what i do now, that is, which is somewhat gingerly practicing the art of kung fu.
I now need to kick up my training a notch. I'm a little afraid I'll hurt myself and not be able to test.
More than a little afraid.
Then, of course, there are the skills.
Oh yes, and finding the TIME to train... how's that again?
I've literally mapped out my next two weeks: each day from Lucy drop-off to Lucy pick-up and then some - It is entirely filled with stuff I have to do - class stuff, MCAT prep class stuff, and kung fu training stuff.
The moment of truth is here. I have it planned out, down to the infinitesimal detail of how much of my homework I need to do each day for each class - now it's time to put it all into action and get ready for the black belt test and then shortly thereafter, the MCAT.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
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