So I decided to do this MCAT class online and all my class materials arrived yesterday. Holy shit, i have a stack of books a mile high, and this is just REVIEW, people, i mean, seriously.... I'm in for it.

I still haven't had the 3 hours to do the "mcat diagnostic" so i can't even really start yet, but I'm doing it tomorrow afternoon. Todd's taking lucy out in the afternoon and i'm gonna just do it, no matter how ridiculously stupid i feel. So there. Then i can actually start studying. I have just over 6 months to get ready. Might *just* be enough time.

Meanwhile, I'm getting excited to start volunteering at Harborview. I have an orientation on Wednesday afternoon, and after that I'll probably start pretty soon. I also have an application in to volunteer at an abortion clinic, so i might actually do both - 1 day at each place.

I sent out an e-mail to a local listserv - MadronaMoms, for moms in our neighborhood - to ask if anyone was an MD, ND, NP, or PA and a mom and if they would be willing to talk to me about it. I got over 20 responses!! and mostly from MDs. I seriously can't believe how many doctors live in this neighborhood and who are willing to talk to me. I'm meeting with one next week who has mentored people in my situation before, so that should be helpful. I'm also particularly excited to talk to one woman who e-mailed me and is a 2nd year med student with a 1 year old and was very enthusiastic.

I've heard a lot of "you have to really want it" (duh) and "it's hard work, but worth it" type rhetoric (kind of like what people tell you before you have a child) - but this was the first person who actually seemed excited about the PROCESS, which really is just as important to me as the end product. I mean, i'm not going to suffer through 2 years of prereq's, the MCAT, 4 years of med school, 3+ years of residency if i'm not enjoying myself in the meantime, right? Anyway...

So that's where that's at.

Yesterday in advanced class at KF, Laurie taught this esoteric energy class - i got there late, so i had to jump right in, which was certainly difficult... but then... we partnered up. I partnered with Clayton, we were to sit facing each other, about a foot between us and just look at each other. No judging, just taking in each other's energy and not having any thoughts about them or letting our thoughts go. Well, i have to say, i couldn't keep it together. It's like when you're a kid - you go to church (not in my case, but satsang on the commune had a similar effect - http://bluest-one.blogspot.com) and you just can't stop laughing.

I felt so incredibly disrespectful to Laurie, but i couldn't control myself. Finally, I took a deep breath and stared at his shoulders. If I don't look at his face, i told myself, i would be able to not laugh. How hard could it be? So slowly my eyes meandered up to his face, which was also cracking up and I lost it all over again. *sigh* Well, it was good to have a laugh...

Then he partnered with Tristan and I partnered with Dave. Now THEY were laughing and that made me laugh. But more or less, i was able to control myself the second time. Seriously.

Fun class, though. I stayed on for conditioning (i need it!) and regular class, i love having that long class. Once i get going, i feel like i could train all night. I almost stayed on afterwards, but i was hungry.

Lucy had a great week at daycare all week. I don't know what to do with that child. Just when you think you know someone...

I'd better be off - a zillion things to do before she wakes up.

Later... Forgot to mention 2 things
1. Did pilates. It was great. There were things that everyone in that class was doing that I not only could not do, but there was no sign of there ever being a hint of a point in time in the future in which i might be able to do them. But it was good. And my body did feel good. And then I got a massage from Katy, so i felt real good.

2. You have to read my friend's blog from yesterday (9/14). And whenever you think your family is nuts....http://nothingwittyleft.blogspot.com/
Holy. Fucking. shit.